Psychotic Nights
by Randi-chan
Summary: A scary plot has been made. Nobody knows what. Duh, note the title. My first fic! Almost ending! A lotta chappies up! I won't continue until I get 10 reviews. Man these summaries suck...
1. Bakura gets Nightmares Part 1

~Psychotic Nights: Bakura gets Nightmares (Part 1)~  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! I'm sure everyone knows that. But I do  
own this fic and my fanfic character Celestina in the later chapters.  
Seto: So I'll appear here and not see her?  
Ryou_Kaiba: I bet you're right! But Shizuka is here!  
Seto: You best hope I don't strangle you!  
Ryou_Kaiba: Please don't! I'm just a writer!  
Seto: And I'm the president of Kaiba Corp!  
Jounouchi: Gee. I wish Celestina were here.  
=====================================================================  
~One day, Ryou Bakura has just been walking downtown. When suddenly, he saw  
a shop full of darkness. He turned to Yami Bakura and stepped inside~  
Yami B: *looking around* What the hell do they sell in here anyway?  
Chinese?  
~Then a small Chinese take-out box appeared on a table~  
Yami B: Ooh! Chinese! *takes chopsticks and eats* I wonder what is this?  
What's it made of? It's sooooo heavenly!  
Mysterious Puppeteer: It's my recipe. Rat fur, worm crap, fly wings, lizard  
liver, skunk juice and spider legs. Oh and some bird feathers for some  
taste.  
Yami B: Nani?! *spits* WATER!!! VODKA!!! ANYTHING!!!  
Witty Phantom: As you wish master. *gives glass*  
Yami B: *sips it* I feel something tingly again.  
Witty Phantom: Oh don't worry sir! It's just bat pee.  
Yami B: You people are sick!!! *throws glass and gets outside* I can still  
feel that worm inside my mouth. *gets worm outside mouth* Hmmm. *licks  
mouth* I'd rather drink blood than that bat pee.  
~Then a dead vampire fell down on him~  
Yami B: Ouch! My back! I'm going to feel this in the morning! *pushes  
vampire away* Hmmm. speaking of blood. *shows fangs and sucks the vampire's  
blood then pauses and spits* Yuck! Coconut blood! I need meaty blood!  
~Then he saw a shop that sells blood of different types~  
Yami B: ("Something weird is going on") Sweeeeet! *goes to shop*  
~Inside the shop.~  
Yami M: Konbanwa! Can I help you?  
Yami B: Marik?! What are you doing here?!  
Yami M: Would you like some meaty blood?  
Yami B: Hai! *shakes head* Wait a minute! What are you doing here first?!  
Yami M: It's my special! For free. Take it will you not?  
Yami B: *tightens fist* Well.  
Yami M: Suppose I do this. *spills blood* Will you buy it?  
Yami B: IYA!!! Anything but that! *searches inside pocket* Other self,  
please have some money.  
Bakura: Hey! I was saving that!  
Yami B: Not now! You're a pest! *gets 5 bucks* 5 simoleons?!  
Yami M: The regular price is 10 dollars, but I'll slash it to 3 dollars. Or  
maybe I'll let you drink it for free.  
Yami B: Well, it really is tempting.  
Bakura: Fight temptations other self!  
~Then there's that Fighting Temptations background music~  
Bakura, Yami M & B: ????????  
Yami M: Anyhow, take it or leave it evaporated!  
Yami B: *takes bottle and drinks*  
~Several hours later~  
Bakura: Other self, your hair confuses me.  
Yami B: Nan'? It's been always white!  
Bakura: It's not that. First your hair was like Seto's then it was Yugi's  
then Jounouchi's then Malik's. Now it's Isis. Isn't it weird? Wait! Now  
it's Anzu's. ^_^ And I'm not lying. It's pretty cute!  
Yami B: *feels back* And it feels furry, too. GASP!!! I'm ANIMORPHING!!!  
IYAAAA!!! Iie, iie! This can't be!  
Bakura: Hold on! It's back to normal! Only it's green and full of lice!  
Yami B: AAAAAHH!!!! GET IT OFF!!!  
Bakura: The what off? The lice, green hair or both?  
Yami B: Both, you numbskull! *steps on skull, then looks down* Is this. a  
sign of. death?  
Yami Y: Pretty much.  
Yami B: Pharaoh?!  
Seto: With me.  
Yami B: High priest?!  
Seto: Shall I punish him, cousin?  
Yami Y: *nods*  
Seto: Guards!  
Yami B: *smirks* Oopsies. I forgot. I am the grand thief.  
Yami Y: No you aren't. You're a peasant.  
Yami B: *looks at clothes* Holy hell. *holds up picket sign that says  
"Damn. Here comes trouble."*  
~So the guards took him off. They sent him to a dark room.~  
Yami B: Nani? Where am I?  
~Then Seto Kaiba appeared on a screen along with Mokuba~  
Seto: Enjoy, Bakura! *grins*  
Mokuba: Sayonara! ^_^ *pushes button*  
~Then the lights went on~  
Yami B: Oh no. Help. Other self.  
Bakura: Yeah? *licking ice cream*  
Yami B: Hey! Where'd you get that?  
Bakura: They gave me free ice cream for being soooo good. Want it?  
Yami B: *takes ice cream and puts it upside down*  
Bakura: Hey! It could. *seeing cream not spilling*.spill?  
Yami B: Uhh-huh.  
Bakura: No wonder it tasted artificial.  
Yami B: Now onto my problem. It's living hell here.  
Bakura: Why?  
~Then Bakura's mouth was wide open when he saw what he saw~  
Bakura: It's. it's. it's.  
Yami B: It's horrible! It's hell! It's highly horrid!  
Bakura: It's Ms. Muffy!  
Yami B: Summimassen? *looks confused and annoyed*  
Bakura: They won't release this until next year!  
Yami B: And your point is?  
Bakura: Wait until I show this!  
Yami B: Yeah. In pre school.  
~They see theirselves in a pink room full of idiotic stuff toys and teddy  
bears, Barbie dolls and life-sized dolls and a variety of clothes.. In  
PINK!!!~  
Yami B: *eye twitches* This can't be happening.  
Bakura: *having a tea party with some dolls* Would you like some more tea,  
Mrs. Blondie? *playing with the doll and makes a high-pitched voice* Yes I  
would love to Mr. Bakura. *pours imaginary tea inside a small teacup*  
Yami B: Something's wrong with you. Really.  
~Then on the screen, Mai and Rebecca appears~  
Mai: Konnichiwa, Bakura-chan!  
Rebecca: Enjoy my room of death! Bai-bai! ^_^ *pushes button*  
Yami B: She freaks me.  
Bakura: *playing with a stuffed unicorn* I shall call you Rapidash, and you  
shall be mine! And you shall be my Rapidash!  
Mai: Oh yeah. It'll take wits to get out of this place. Ta ta!  
Yami B: Wits! I have lots of that!  
Bakura: *dives into a pile of Barbie dolls* FREEDOM!!!  
Yami B: He doesn't. So let's see. *gets a stuffed hippo and pulls the  
string*  
Hippo: I love you!  
Yami B: AAH! The horror! *throws away*  
Bakura: No! Not the hippo! It's not like Chuckie the doll. It loves you.  
Yami B: I know. That's what I'm afraid of. *sees a pile of Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Character dolls* Sweet!  
Voodoos! *gets the Seto doll and pulls the string*  
Seto doll: I hate you. Go to hell.  
Yami B: Aah shut up. *gets Yami Yugi doll and pulls string*  
Yami Y: Prepare to duel! I'm going to spill your guts! Literally.  
Yami B: Aah you suck. *raises "the Finger"*  
Bakura: *getting the Bakura doll* This doll looks exactly like me. *pulls  
string*  
Bakura doll: I'm Bakura and I like to eat sunny side-up eggs.  
Bakura: Awww. it talks like me too.  
Bakura doll: I will self-destruct in 10 seconds. 10. 9. 8.  
Bakura: Aww. it said it'll self-destruct in 10 seconds.  
Yami B: 10 seconds?! *grabs doll and throws it at a pile of stuffed  
animals*  
~The pile blows up with stuffing blowing with it~  
Bakura: Hey other self, that lint on your head looks HUGE!!  
Yami B: That's not lint. That's a Kuriboh with some stuffing coming out.  
*gets and eats it* Hmmm. tastes like chicken. *gets a plastic mallet and  
bonks Bakura*  
Bakura: Ouchies! That hurts!  
~Yami Bakura goes on like this until he bonked every single doll.~  
Yami B: HAHAHAHAHA!!! I HAVE THE POWER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* *cough*  
HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
Bakura: I'd say he turned to a psycho. Right, Isis-chan? *pulls her string*  
Isis doll: Hug me!  
Bakura: Awww. *hugs it* Huggie! Huggie! *goes to a door* hmmm. this is a  
weird door, Isis-chan. *making the Isis doll nod its head* But why would  
they put a sign called "Exit"?  
Yami B: Exit?!  
Isis doll: The key to a problem is a solution. Like a key to open a door.  
Yami B: Thanks for the words of wisdom, Isis!  
Isis: You're welcome. *disappears in mid-air*  
Yami B & Bakura: *blink* *blink*  
Yami B: Alright! Let's get to this! *tries to pull knob* Nan? Open! *eyes  
get fiery* OPEN!!!  
~Then a struck of lightning struck him~  
Yami B: AAAAAHH!!!  
~Then Yami Bakura gets some sort of strikey hairstyle~  
Bakura: Haha! Other self, you look like Yugi! Haha!  
Yami B: Haha. Very funny. Yadda yadda. *shakes head*  
~Then his hair turned plain and bangful~  
Bakura: Now it's Seto-san's. Only white. *holds up the Seto doll* Don't you  
agree, Seto-san? *pulls string*  
Seto doll: Everyone knows my hair is better.  
Yami B: And everyone knows that I don't care. *shakes head*  
~Then there's that bushy hair with bangs also~  
Bakura: Ooh! Jounouchi! *holds up Jounouchi doll* What do you think? *pulls  
string*  
Jounouchi doll: It stinks like rotten eggs.  
Yami B: Why you crazy little son of a-  
Jounouchi: You suck so bad. No girl would want to go out with ya!  
Yami B: AAAAAHHH!!! *gets doll and rips off head*  
Bakura: *covering mouth* How violent.  
Yami B: SHUT UP!!! *shakes head*  
~Then there's that long spiky yet curly hair~  
Bakura: Now it's-  
Yami B: Don't. Even. Say. Who! *shakes head then turns normal* Let's play a  
little game.  
Bakura: Ooh! A game!  
Yami B: Let's play find the key in the toy pile.  
Bakura: Ooh! Cool! Let's play! *dives into a pile*  
Yami B: Guess I'll have to do same to get out. *dives into a pile*  
~After several hours of searching~  
Bakura: I've found it!  
Yami B: The key?!  
Bakura: Iie! My pants.  
Yami B: *facefaults* You're hopeless. *sees some sort of shiny thing behind  
the Pegasus doll* Heh heh. It's mine. I FOUND IT!!!!  
Bakura: Awww. I lost!  
Yami B: *gets key and jumps to the ground* I'm free!!!!  
Bakura: Help me!  
Yami B: Nan? *looks there* What is it now? Your pants got loose? *laughs*  
Bakura: Hai!  
Yami B: *facefaults* Then tie on a belt, baka!  
~After keying in. They went inside another room but this time. it's a game  
show studio. Stay tuned for the next part of this episode. And remember,  
here in Psychotic Nights. everything here is crept out by the Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Cast. To be continued.~  
Yami B: Hysterical.  
Rebecca: Did you like my fun room?! Did ya? Did ya?  
Bakura: It was the best!  
Mai: You appreciate her work?  
Bakura: Hai!  
Yami B: *mumbles*. homo-sexual gay.  
Bakura: Nan?  
Yami B: Nothing Hikari! *mumbles* dumbass. 


	2. Bakura gets Nightmares Part 2

~Psychotic Nights: Bakura gets Nightmares (Part 2)~  
  
DISCLAIMER: I told you! I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of its characters and cards. I only own the whole fic.  
  
Seto: There you go again with that disclaimer thing!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Aah quiet! You're an extra!  
  
Seto: Say what?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Extra! Extra! Read all about it!  
  
Seto: Ooh! You better watch out!  
  
Joey: Some things always change. *nibbles on a dog biscuit*  
  
~Inside that game show studio~  
  
Ryou: Where are we? *gets lighted by spotlights* My eyes!  
  
Bakura: Dimwit.  
  
Isis: Please welcome our contestants Bakura and his aibou!  
  
Bakura: Hey!  
  
Isis: Step right up! And welcome to the Questionably Quick Query Quiz! Egyptian style! Come on! *pulls the Bakuras*  
  
Bakura: I say she's gone drunk.  
  
~They took their places and just wondered what gotten into Isis~  
  
Isis: Now. You know the rules of the game!  
  
Ryou: No, we don't.  
  
Bakura: BAKA!!!  
  
Isis: You don't know the rules? Then you must be a-  
  
Studio audience: DUNCE!!!  
  
Ryou: A what?  
  
Isis: *gets 2 hats that says "Dunce"* Since you're sooo dumb about the game, we're giving this to you! *makes the Bakuras wear it*  
  
Bakura: *mumbles*. baka.  
  
Ryou: At least we get an instant prize.  
  
Isis: It's just easy! Just answer the Egyptian questions. Get it wrong; you'll have to do a consequence! Are you ready? Okay! Let's play! First question, who is the sun god of Egypt? You have 1 second to answer! Go!  
  
Bakura: 1 second?!  
  
Isis: Ennnk! Wrong! Which means-  
  
Studio Audience: Consequence time!  
  
Bakura: *raises "the Finger" at them*  
  
Ryou: You're not kid-friendly, other self!  
  
Bakura: Who the hell cares?! Huh?! Who?!  
  
Isis: And your consequence is. licking Bakura's ear!  
  
Ryou & Bakura: *raises an eyebrow*  
  
Isis: Gomen gomen gomen gomenasai! That's not it.  
  
Ryou: -_- I should've known.  
  
~After several questions they finally got to the final question~  
  
Isis: Our final question!  
  
Ryou: Alleluia!  
  
Bakura: Thank Ra! That shark scares me!  
  
Isis: And you've got 0 points! And you need 1,000,000 points to win!  
  
Bakura: We're doomed.  
  
Isis: But if you answer this question correctly, you can get 1,000,000,000 points!  
  
Ryou: Hooray!  
  
Isis: Here's the 1 billion point question. what is my name? Think twice!  
  
Bakura: Are you wasting my time?  
  
Isis: You've got 10 seconds!  
  
Ryou: Britney Spears?  
  
Isis: Gomen?  
  
Ryou: Britney Spears!  
  
Bakura: Britney. Spears?! That is the most-  
  
Isis: CORRECT ANSWER!!! YOU WON 1 BILLION POINTS!!!!  
  
Bakura: Wow. *mouth wide open*  
  
Isis: I here by give you the key to the next door! *gives the Millennium Ankh*  
  
Bakura: Demmo. that's the Millennium Ankh.  
  
Isis: I knoooowww.  
  
Ryou: *blink* *blink* Oh yeah. Here! *gives the Isis doll*  
  
Isis: Aww. Arigato! Here's the real key! *gives key*  
  
Ryou: Domo Arigato, Isis-san. *gets key*  
  
Bakura: The Millennium Ankh is mine! *wears it*  
  
~They went to the next door, then they saw Serenity tied to a chair blindfolded (which she always was XP)~  
  
Bakura: Oh what now?!  
  
~Then the screen turns on and Joey, Tristan & Duke appear~  
  
Bakura: You?! I thought I ripped your head off already?!  
  
Ryou: Uhm. uh. Why is Serenity tied there?  
  
Tristan: Oh that. Joe?  
  
Joey: Okay! You know Serenity is tied there, right?  
  
Duke: Duh.  
  
Bakura: What he said.  
  
Joey: Well, there would be saw blades of death.  
  
Bakura: Saw Blades of Death?  
  
Joey: Hai!  
  
Duke: All you have to do is save Serenity. That's it.  
  
Tristan: But be careful!  
  
Bakura: Yeah right. *walks to the platform then those blades appear* Whoa! Holy sh-  
  
Tristan: Hai. For every platform you step on, those blades will appear.  
  
Joey: That's why be careful! Okay? Sayonara!  
  
Ryou: So. what will we do?  
  
Bakura: Hmmm. *gets a piece of lint*  
  
Ryou: Lint time already?! We're in a crisis!  
  
Bakura: *throws lint to the platform then it appeared again*  
  
Ryou: What are you planning?!  
  
Bakura: *gets deck*  
  
Ryou: Duel Monsters?! Other self! We don't have much time!  
  
Bakura: Aah quit your whining! *plays a card* Trap Master!  
  
Trap Master: *destroys saw blades*  
  
Ryou: Great. 5 more to go!  
  
~They did the same process over and over until they reached Serenity~  
  
Ryou: The end! At last! *steps on last platform*  
  
Bakura: Hikari don't!  
  
Ryou: Nan?  
  
Bakura: *looks around* No traps?  
  
Ryou: Yeah.  
  
Bakura: Okay. Trap Master, return!  
  
Trap Master: *dematerialises into a card*  
  
Ryou: That was familiar.  
  
~Then a blade almost hit Ryou~  
  
Ryou: What the?  
  
Bakura: I think it's on to something. *gets the blade*  
  
Ryou: *trying to untie the blindfold* It's tight!  
  
Bakura: I know. That's what I expected. *cuts the cloth with blade*  
  
Serenity: I can see!  
  
Ryou: No, you can't.  
  
Bakura: *pinches Ryou*  
  
Ryou: Ow!  
  
Serenity: Arigato for freeing me!  
  
Ryou: Where's the key?  
  
Serenity: Oh right! *gives key to Yami Bakura*  
  
Ryou: Hey! After all my hard work, you're giving the key to him?!  
  
Bakura: YOUR hard work?  
  
Ryou: Well maybe some.  
  
~They finally went to a door and found a horse with wings.~  
  
Ryou: Pegasus!  
  
~Then there's also Pegasus on the screen~  
  
Bakura: Pegasus!  
  
Ryou: Which Pegasus?  
  
Bakura: He Pegasus!  
  
Ryou: That's funny. Pegasus is a he.  
  
Bakura: Not the horse, baka!  
  
Ryou: Well he's not just any horse! He's a horse with wings and feelings! That's why he's Pegasus!  
  
Bakura: Oh will ya just shut up?!  
  
Pegasus: SILENCE!!!  
  
Bakura & Ryou: *stays silent*  
  
Pegasus: Do you want to get out of here or not?  
  
Bakura & Ryou: *nods*  
  
Pegasus: Then listen. Joyous wonders this horse sets free, its majestic mane true to thee. Make him angry, he'll always disagree. Petting is fun, but don't take the tree.  
  
Bakura & Ryou: Nan?  
  
Pegasus: It's a stinking riddle! Just make my pet Pegasus happy and healthy!  
  
Ryou: Oh we can do that!  
  
~Later.~  
  
Ryou: He's chewing on my hair! Oh God! He's chewing it!  
  
Pegasus: NEIGH!! NEIGH!!  
  
Bakura: Don't make him angry, hikari! Just ease it!  
  
Pegasus: *licks Yami Bakura*  
  
Bakura: You. you. you BAKA!!!  
  
Ryou: I didn't do anything!  
  
Bakura: It's not you!  
  
Ryou: Oh it isn't? Phew.  
  
Pegasus: *holding the toilet seat* *whimpers*  
  
Ryou: Awww. he needs to go! *looks around and finds a tree* Hey! There's a tree!  
  
Bakura: Well don't go!  
  
Ryou: Why?  
  
Bakura: You know the riddle! Don't take the tree! It might be dangerous!  
  
Ryou: Then where do you think he'll pee?  
  
Bakura: *smirks* Well.  
  
~Later.~  
  
Ryou: *tied up to a stick* Aibou! What are you planning?  
  
Bakura: Oh nothing. *whistles* Here Pegasus!  
  
Ryou: Hell no!  
  
Pegasus: *pees on Ryou*  
  
Ryou: Eww! Eww! IYA! IYA! IYA! IYA!  
  
Pegasus: *rides away*  
  
Ryou: Awww. those were new pants!  
  
Bakura: *gets the hose and sprays to Bakura*  
  
Ryou: What are you doing?!  
  
Bakura: Shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing.  
  
~Later.~  
  
Pegasus (on the screen): I'm back! Where's my lil Peggy-horse?  
  
Pegasus: NEIGH!!!  
  
Pegasus: Thank you boys. *pushes button*  
  
~Then the final door opens... ~  
  
Ryou: It's the final door! Hooray!  
  
Bakura: Let's make this quick!  
  
Hooded figure: I was expecting you.  
  
Bakura: What now?!  
  
Hooded figure: Are you ready for the final challenge against me?  
  
Bakura: You? I'm ready for anything!  
  
Hooded figure: *unhoods*  
  
Bakura: Oh my Ra! We made Yugi unhood himself!  
  
Ryou: Us bastards!  
  
Yugi: *standing on sticks* It's not like it always happens.  
  
Bakura: Alright what's the challenge?  
  
Yugi: *holds up light sabres*  
  
Ryou: As seen in Star Wars episode 1, 2, 4, 5 & 6. Episode 3, never before seen.  
  
Yugi: Choose your warrior!  
  
Ryou: *pushes Yami Bakura* He will!  
  
Yugi: *throws the light sabre to Yami Bakura*  
  
Bakura: Wait a minute. Your challenging me to a light sabre match?!  
  
Yugi: Exactly!  
  
Bakura: *stood silent and laughed out loud*  
  
Ryou: Iie other self! I've seen this before. Master Yoda once defeated Count Dooku and he's only small, green and old. Like David and Goliath!  
  
Bakura: I despise the comparison!  
  
Yugi: Your move!  
  
Bakura: You're on, young pipsqueak!  
  
~So they started the sword fight until Yugi got his sabre off his hand~  
  
Bakura: Ha! You shall die!  
  
Yugi: Not quite!  
  
Bakura: Nani?  
  
Yugi: The force is with me! *reaches for the light sabre and gets it*  
  
Bakura: Demmo.  
  
Ryou: I told you so!  
  
Yugi: Now you prepare!  
  
Bakura: And why is that?  
  
Yugi: Bakura. I am your father!  
  
Ryou: *covering mouth* GASP!  
  
Bakura: It's not possible! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Ryou: Oh gosh is it really true?  
  
Yugi: Ha ha! Iie.  
  
Bakura: NANI?! YOU LIAR!!! AAAAHH!!! *tackles Yugi*  
  
Ryou: Things turned out to be a happy ending!  
  
~Then Ryou wakes up~  
  
Ryou: Nani?! *looks around and sees that it's 3:00 AM* What a dream.  
  
Hooded figure: Ohayoo!  
  
Ryou: AAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
~Then Ryou wakes up~  
  
Ryou: Thank God it's just a dream!  
  
Bakura: Welcome to my world.  
  
Ryou: AAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Bakura: What are you screaming about? I usually am inside your Millenium Ring!  
  
Ryou: Oh right. *sees the vampire behind Yami Bakura* VAMPIRE!!!  
  
~Then Ryou wakes up again~  
  
Ryou: It was just another dream!  
  
Ryou doll: I will self-destruct!  
  
Ryou: AAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
~Then Ryou FINALLY wakes up~  
  
Ryou: You know, forget dream. It was a nightmare! *looks around* Nothing unusual. Phew! *goes back to sleep*  
  
~But what he didn't know, there was a toy hippo right next to him. Poor Ryou. He'll never know the deepness of his nightmares~  
  
Moral lesson: Always brush your teeth.  
  
Tune it next time for another episode of.. PSYCHOTIC NIGHTS!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AH AHA HA HA! *cough* *cough* HA HA AH HA HA HA AH AHA HA!!! Ryou: Always brush our teeth?  
  
Bakura: So we could fight fluoride? Ra, who comes up with these things? Hahaha. I hate it.  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: It's a slogan! Ha ha!  
  
Bakuras: Freak. *walks away*  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: R&R! 


	3. Touring a Haunted House

~Psychotic Nights: Touring to a Haunted House~  
DISCLAIMER: Do I have to say it again?  
Ryou_Kaiba: And we're back!  
Joey: What will we do?  
Ryou_Kaiba: You'll see.  
Joey: WE'LL SEE?! That sucks man!  
  
~One day, the cast were just driving to Merry Land Road~  
Joey: Seto! Are we there yet?  
Seto: Iie!  
Yugi: Can we eat?  
Celestina: But you just ate.  
Tristan: We know. But what about 2nd breakfast?  
Seto: Don't make me go there!  
Duke: Hey Joey! Where's Serenity?  
Serenity: Here I am!  
Tea: Serenity, be careful!  
Yugi: I wonder how the others are in the other car.  
Monoki: I don't know. But my Ryou's in there!  
Jami: You mean my little brother?  
Monoki: *nods*  
Amelia: No sweat. Pegasus is also there.  
Duke: Everyone has a stinkin' reason.  
Tristan: Are you done with Serenity already?  
Serenity: Oh please not again.  
Mia: I've just been wondering you 2.  
Tristan & Duke: Yeah?  
Mia: Why do you even like Serenity?  
~Sudden silence.~  
Seto: That ends the discussion!  
~In the other car~  
Pegasus: What a surprise. We don't even know where we're going.  
Ryou: Joey said we should just drive.  
Isis: *playing Gameboy* Oh man! That Zapdos gets me everytime!  
Malik: I'm bored.  
Mokuba: *watching TV* Don't do it! Iya! Beaver Warrior won't stand a chance  
against Kazejin!  
Mai: I knew accepting Seto's offer would be better.  
Weevil: Why? This bus is perfect! *looks at bug collection*  
Mai: You don't say.  
Rex: What was the offer?  
Mai: A helicopter ride or a yacht.  
Miho: Me too! Only it was Tristan.  
Isis: Why didn't you accept it? Oh drat! I missed Articuno!  
Mokuba: Wait a minute! Big brother? He would only offer those things to the  
girls closest to him!  
Girls: US?!!  
Mai: It's not possible!  
Isis: Why would he ask me out?!  
Miho: Maybe he is such a whore.  
Everyone: *looks at Miho*  
Miho: My opinion.  
Pegasus: Maybe he is.  
Everyone: *looks at Pegasus*  
Pegasus: My opinion also.  
Shadi: Pegasus. You just need some rest.  
Miho: I don't!  
Shadi: You too.  
Mai: Aww. Shadi! You don't have to be a big brother to us all. Seto can  
handle it.  
Rex: Who cares?  
Weevil: They would.  
Ryou: It seems that Mako wanted to take the boat. *turns to Yami Bakura*  
Iya! Why did you separate me from the one I love?  
Pegasus: Who? My niece-in-law?  
Bakura: Iie! Celestina!  
Isis: Forget it, Bakura. Celestina's taken by Seto.  
Girls: And we're happy with it!  
Isis: Oh no! My Charizard fainted!  
Everyone: *facefaults*  
Bakura: I despise Seto! I hate him! Along with Yugi! I'll kill the both of  
them!  
~They were just driving until a car tire pops. Then they ended up near a  
deserted house~  
Yugi: Is it. haunted?  
~Then a butterfly passes by~  
Monoki: AAAHH! *jumps to Bakura's arms*  
Bakura: Oh shut up! It's just a stinkin butterfly! *drops Monoki*  
Monoki: Ow my butt hurts!  
~Then a wolf howls~  
Bakura: AAAHH! *jumps to Celestina's arms* What was that?  
Seto: Oh I'll tell you when you get off her.  
Bakura: Oh yeah? Well I'll go steal your soul!  
Seto: Oh you watch out, bucko!  
Celestina: Oh no. Not you 2.  
Serenity: Join the club.  
~So Duke, Tristan, Seto and Yami Bakura just fought and wrestled each  
other~  
Celestina & Serenity: *sigh* *facefaults*  
Malik: Isis! Hurry up!  
Isis: Could you just wait? I'm in the process of battling an Onix!  
Pegasus: So. why are we here again?  
Yugi: I don't know.  
Joey: I wanna join the fight! I have to defend my sister! *joins the  
battle*  
Mai: I hope that house is luxurious.  
Amelia: So. Who's knocking?  
Jami: I will! *goes to the door*  
~Then the door opens by itself~  
Weevil: It's a haunted house. And where are the maggots?!  
Rex: What's taking Mako so long?  
Mai: Maybe he didn't even come.  
Yugi: He's just too obsessed with fishing.  
Malik: Aren't we going in? *transforms to Yami Marik* That's better! Let's  
get in!  
Yugi: I have an idea! Everyone with Millenium Items will transform to their  
Yami counterparts.  
~So everyone with Millenium Items transformed~  
Yami: Okay. Yamis will lead the way.  
Marik: I think I'm getting it!  
Bakura: So we'll all split up?!  
Yami: Exactly!  
Bakura: Oh please let me be with Celestina!  
Yami: Ha ha! No.  
Shadi: So let's devise this.  
Pegasus: Born leader! Lead the way!  
Yami Y: *puts on spectacles and shows a chart*  
Millenium Item Holders:  
Yugi - Tea, Tristan  
Bakura - Duke, Miho, Joey  
Monoki - Serenity, Mai  
Pegasus - Mia, Jami, Amelia  
Shadi - Weevil, Rex  
Isis - Malik  
Celestina - Seto, Mokuba  
Yami: Any questions?  
Tristan: *raises hand*  
Yami: Hai Tristan?  
Tristan: When do we eat?  
Everyone: *facefaults*  
~So they all split up. Yugi's group decided to go to the Dining Room.  
Bakura's group decided to go to the Kitchen. Monoki's group decided to go  
to the Living Room. Pegasus' group decided to go to the Master's Bedroom.  
Shadi's group decided to go to the Backyard. Isis' group decided to go to  
the Vanity Room. Finally, Celestina's group decided to go to the Attic. In  
Yugi's group.~  
Tristan: It's just nice that we'll go to the Dining Room.  
Tea: *notices deer ornament* It creeps me.  
Yami: Ssh! I hear something!  
~There is maniacal laughter coming from the distance~  
Tea & Honda: What was that?!  
Yami: Nan?  
Ghost: I am the ghost of Christmas Past!  
Tristan: Oh are you? Then why is it June?  
Ghost: Um.. uh. I am the bloody baron!  
Tea: Then why are your robes not bloody?  
Ghost: Oh forget it! I am a ghost!  
Yami: Yeah. and I'm the King of Games.  
Ghost: How come you're not scared?  
Yami: You don't have the attributes of a ghost.  
Ghost: If you're so brave, why won't you scare me? I dare you!  
Everyone: Boo.  
Ghost: AAAH!! Man that boos scares me all the time!  
Tea: Right. Now get out of our way.  
Ghost: Never! I'll never do it! *stretches out hand* My meat! Attack!  
Tristan: Oh my gosh, it's floating turkey.  
Tea: What a surprise.  
Ghost: Okay. *holds up chains* Woooooo!  
Yami: Oh puh-leeze! *walks through the ghost* Ra, you suck.  
Ghost: Hey wait! I'm going to scare you!  
Everyone: Like we care. *ignores the ghost and walks away*  
~In Bakura's group.~  
Miho: I could smell rotten eggs.  
Joey: Maybe that's you.  
Miho: Hey!  
Duke: Bakura! Anything!?  
Bakura: Will you wait? I can't concentrate!  
Joey: At least we're in the kitchen! *gets a dish with worms* A deserted  
kitchen.  
Miho: Ewwww!  
Duke: If Weevil were here, he would enjoy it!  
Joey: There are bugs everywhere! Why would he never enjoy?!  
Bakura: Stop.  
Duke: Nan?  
Bakura: Halt. Do you hear that?  
Everyone: Nan?  
Bakura: *sigh*  
~Then there are those footsteps from afar~  
Miho: Something tells me those aren't the boots I've bought.  
Joey: And it's not me stepping on something.  
Duke: Or any of my dice rolling.  
~Then a butcher's knife is found floating~  
Miho: Bakura. What's that?  
Bakura: Why?  
Joey: Whose head will be cut off first?  
Duke: I suggest yours.  
Joey: Oh yeah!?  
Bakura: Oh it's just a stinkin' knife! *snatches knife* It's still sharp.  
Joey: Duh! All knives are sharp!  
Bakura: It's different in psycho language.  
Duke: Psycho language?  
Miho: I don't even wanna learn that!  
Bakura: Hmmm. *slices a hotdog*  
Joey: Hot dog!  
Duke: What's all the commotion?!  
Miho: What's with the hotdog?  
Bakura: No reason.  
~In Monoki's group.~  
Mai: Where's the TV here?  
Monoki: Somewhere!  
Serenity: I found the remote!  
Mai: Could you?  
Serenity: *turns on TV*  
~When the TV turned on, there was a guy that appeared~  
TV Guy: Everyone shall die!  
Everyone: AAAAHH!!! TURN IT OFF!!!  
Serenity: *switches channel*  
Everyone: *mouths wide open*  
Mai: Another grand episode of Looney Tunes.  
Serenity: I thought they cancelled that.  
Monoki: I should tell uncle!  
Serenity: *switches channel*  
TV Guy: We interrupt this program to give you a special report. There has  
been a maniac on the loose so. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  
Mai: Well, that maniac won't be able to reach us!  
~Door busts open and maniacal laughter is heard~  
Monoki: Run.  
~In Pegasus' group.~  
Pegasus: The master's bedroom!  
Mia: *gets a book* What could this be?  
Jami: Well, it's old.  
Amelia: Pegasus! It's an antique comic book of Looney Tunes!  
Pegasus: Oh goodie!  
Mia: I'm out! *walks away*  
Jami: And I'll. I'll go somewhere. *walks away*  
Ghost: Run if you can but there is no escape!  
Pegasus & Amelia: Shhh!  
Ghost: *eye twitches* Not again.  
Pegasus: Ooh! That's the part where Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny first met!  
Amelia: Yeah! Then Bugs bonked him on the head!  
Pegasus: Yeah!  
Pegasus & Amelia: *laughs*  
Ghost: You people are hard to scare! *goes to the others* Booooooo! I am  
the ghost of Christmas Present!  
Jami: Presents! When will you give me one?  
Ghost: What do you mean?!  
Jami: You told me you're the ghost of Christmas Present!  
Ghost: Not Christmas Presents! Present! As in present tense! Right now,  
ASAP, today!  
Jami: Ohhhhh. So where are my presents?  
Ghost: *slaps forehead* Aye aye aye. *goes to Yami Mia* Ooooooohh! I am the  
Flying Dutchman!  
Mia: And I'm the Queen of France.  
Ghost: Your majesty. *shakes head* wait a minute! France doesn't have a  
queen!  
Mia: Exactly!  
Ghost: Nan?  
Mia: Bow down to me!  
Ghost: AAAAAHHH!!! I hate my life. It's just good that I'm dead. *flies  
away*  
~In Shadi's group.~  
Shadi: Hmmm. Don't make any sudden moves mortals.  
Rex: *steps on a bone* Whoops.  
Shadi: *sigh* This job sucks.  
Weevil: Rex! Don't you know what you stepped on?!  
Rex: Why? What?  
Weevil: It's a part of the Tyrannosaurus Rexus skeleta!  
Rex: The what?  
Weevil: And I thought you liked dinosaurs! It's a T-Rex bone! *notices the  
tree* Ooh! Crickets crawling! I rarely see that! *goes to the tree*  
Shadi: Why do I need to get the backyard job?  
Rex: When you mean backyard. is it swimming pool, tennis court or any  
other?  
Shadi: Iie. This is different. It has a creepy graveyard.  
~Then a chill of cold wind blew by~  
Rex: I see what you mean.  
Shadi: Brrrr. wait. I felt something!  
Ghost: Oh great. more kids who are not scared of me!  
Rex: Yo man! I'm 16! I don't need to be called a kid!  
Ghost: Well I'm a 100 years old!  
Rex: So you're dead?  
Ghost: Duh, simpleton!  
Weevil: Who's he?  
Rex: Eh some ghost.  
Ghost: I knew this would happen! *flies away*  
Shadi: So. more exploring?  
Weevil: Nah. I've had enough insect hunting. Most of the insects here are  
already in my collection.  
~Then a ghost insect passed by.~  
Weevil: But I'm sure I haven't seen that before!  
Shadi: Go ahead! No one's gonna stop you.  
Rex: Yeah. And if you ever get scared, we're just in the graveyard looking  
for some dinosaur bones.  
Shadi: We'll what?!  
Rex: Dino bone hunting!  
  
~Will the group survive the house of horror which is really comedy but the  
other ghosts don't think so? Find out in the next episode of. PSYCHOTIC  
KNIGHTS!!! *headless knights appears* Yikes. I mean NIGHTS!!!~  
To be continued.  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Isn't that wonderful?  
Monoki: I feel used.  
Bakura: Monkey!  
Monoki: HISS!  
Ryou: AAAAAAAAHH!!! Horror!!! 


	4. A Bloody Night

~Psychotic Nights: A Bloody Night~  
DISCLAIMER: I said this once; I don't want to say it again! But I get paid  
on doing it so. I do not own anything Yu-Gi-Oh! And its characters. All but  
this fic!  
  
~While the group were all exploring they met a few ghosts.In Isis' group~  
Marik: I smell something. *sniffs*  
Isis: Yeah. You.  
Marik: Hey! Do you not mind!? *sits down and meditates* I hate vanities.  
Isis: These mirrors. it's creepy.  
Marik: I hate it!  
Isis: Ssh! *stares at a mirror*  
~In the mirror, behind Isis is a girl that looked like her with blood all  
over~  
Isis: *covering mouth* Oh my Ra!  
Marik: Nani?  
~Then the girl disappears~  
Marik: Big sister?  
Isis: The girl. was I.  
Marik: You?  
Isis: *nods* Marik! We must go!  
Marik: Why should we? *stares at a mirror* I want to stare at myself.  
Isis: You're pathetic. *looks at the mirror with Marik*  
~Then the mirror showed a hooded figure holding up a scythe covered with  
blood~  
Marik: A scythe.  
Hooded figure: Prepare to die!  
Marik: *uses the Millennium Rod and gains control over the figure* Under my  
command!  
Hooded figure: *freezes* Nani? *forced to break the mirror* IYA!!!  
Marik: Break it will you not?  
Hooded figure: *breaks mirror*  
Marik: Kick butt! Oh yeah! I made someone unlucky!  
Isis: You have serious controlling problems.  
Hooded figure: REVENGE!!!  
Marik: *kicks him on the shin*  
Hooded figure: OWWWWW!!!!  
Isis: Oh boy.  
~In Celestina's group.~  
Mokuba: Bloody hell. this attic's ancient!  
Seto: It's deserted. *gets some sort of disc and blows away the dust*  
*cough, cough* Hmm. I didn't know Duel Disk Systems existed a hundred years  
ago.  
Celestia: Duh. Kaiba Corp are just copycats!  
Seto: Gomenasai but I am the president of Kaiba Corp.  
Celestia: And you copy things!  
Seto: You're lucky you're a girl. If you weren't a woman, I would pound you  
right now.  
Mokuba: People! It's not the right time to fight!  
Celestia: You're right. Let's end this!  
Mokuba: Could you please be back to your other self?  
Seto: Hai.  
Celestia: Eh fine, fine! *turns back to original*  
Mokuba: Celestina! *hugs her*  
Seto: Yeah, yeah. *pushes Mokuba away*  
Mokuba: Big brother!  
Seto: *hugs her* Oh and I'm glad you're here! Your other self bugged me!  
Celestina: Don't blame her. She just had some issues with the high priest.  
~The same ghost passed by~  
Ghost: Oh I swear to God I'll never run to a freeway!  
Seto: Why?  
Ghost: Well I was crazy and committed suicide.  
Mokuba: Maybe you just got drunk. Big brother almost died.  
Seto: Oh come on! It was just a duel! I had to do everything just to save  
you and there! Yugi ended up saving you!  
Mokuba: True. but that wasn't my example.  
Celestina: Wait a minute. Seto got drunk?  
Mokuba: Bet you right!  
Ghost: Heavens to Betsy I'm outta here.  
Celestina: Don't leave! We're nice! Right, Seto?  
Seto: Mmm. nani?  
Ghost: Wait. Are you old enough to drink?  
Mokuba: Water, hai.  
Ghost: Iie! As in vodka, wine, beer, scotch and other types.  
Seto: I tried wine.  
Ghost: Tried? But are you a frequent drinker?  
Celestina: You've been hiding it from me? Well, why didn't you say so? I  
have the money!  
Seto: I do too! I wasn't called the president for nothing!  
Ghost: George Bush?  
Mokuba: Iie! My big brother's the president of Kaiba Corp and he's only 18!  
Seto: Oh great.  
Ghost: Oh! So you're the one who invented those big Swatch thingies?  
Celestina: Duel Disk Systems?  
Ghost: Exactly!  
Voice: Who dares to interrupt me?!  
Mokuba: *points to the ghost* He will!  
Voice: *transforms to Seto only bloody*  
Mokuba: Big brother needs help!  
Seto: I'm right here, Mokuba and I don't need help.  
Celestina: Besides, it's just an illusion.  
Bloody Seto: Or am I? Mokuba! Who'll you believe?  
Mokuba: Well, um, uh.  
Celestina: If you're the real Seto, what's your cell phone number?  
Bloody Seto: Oh that's easy! 0917- 738652.  
Celestina: Correct but the real Seto would forget his own cell number just  
to memorize mine!  
Bloody Seto: Okay. *dances ballet* Nutcracker Suite!  
Mokuba: Glad that wasn't the real Seto Kaiba!  
Seto: Yeah.. You would be embarrassed.  
Mokuba: That's my real big brother all right!  
Celestina: Let's go to the others!  
~After ending the adventure, they decided to meet in one place. the  
library!~  
Bakura: Check this out! *plays a tune on the piano which is the death tune*  
Marik: How talented! I can do better! *improves the tune*  
Mai: *reading a book* Is this what old people read?  
Pegasus: I think it's brilliant! *reads the comic*  
Amelia: *pulls out a newspaper* The Times, since 1903.  
Mia: *lying down on the couch* Being queen of France is hard work!  
Jami: *goes to the piano* Whatcha doin'?  
Bakura: Uh. making some tunes.  
Marik: Death tunes.  
Isis: *playing the Game Boy* My agenda is capture a Lugia!  
Shadi: How many bones did we get?  
Rex: Uh. About 10.  
Weevil: 10? I had only 3 insects!  
Shadi: Oh why do I even bother?  
Serenity: Big brother! Tristan and Duke are fighting again!  
Joey: It's natural! Get used to it.  
Miho: I need a shower!  
Mai: I'm with you!  
Tea: Me, too!  
Yami: Girls will take a bath first. Us men will plan things out!  
Celestina: Sounds good! *goes with the girls*  
Serenity: It's the only way to be safe!  
~So the girls went to the bathroom, problem is.~  
Mai: Uh. guys. Where IS the bathroom?  
Duke: I can go!  
Tristan: And hog up Serenity?! I don't think so!  
Seto: Maybe I should go.  
Bakura: You can't fool me! You'll be with Celestina!  
Mai: Never mind! We'll find it on our own!  
~A few moments later, the men are making a "treaty"~  
Yami: So 2 Yamis will stay here and guard. The library is the closest to  
the door. I'll volunteer!  
Bakura: I was thinking of me but I changed my mind!  
Marik: I can do it!  
Seto: How's Bakura instead? Hmm?  
Bakura: We can read each other's minds!  
Pegasus: And I can read yours!  
Shadi: This could be dangerous. I'll just be the guard.  
Seto: I can settle with that.  
Duke That's great!  
Tristan: Fine with me!  
Yami: Now it's settled. And no fighting!  
Seto, Duke, Honda & Bakura: Hai.  
~That night.~  
Bakura: *getting a glass of milk* Hmmm.*sips it and spits* Yuck! Year old  
milk! Might as well stick with water. Well I changed my mind. I'm not that  
thirsty anyway. *goes back up*  
Yami: Room assignments, still with the group. Since Shadi and I will guard,  
Jami will guard Tea and Tristan and Amelia will guard Weevil & Rex.  
Seto: Hai!  
Bakura: Darn it!  
Yami: To make it even, Bakura will go with Isis and Malik.  
Pegasus: That's not even! Then we're going to be 2 only!  
Yami: Let's change that! By 4s!  
1st Room - Bakura, Seto, Celestina, Mokuba,  
2nd Room - Pegasus, Duke, Mia, Tristan,  
3rd Room - Serenity, Mai, Monoki, Amelia,  
4th Room - Isis, Malik, Weevil, Rex,  
5th Room - Tea, Miho, Joey, Jami,  
Yami: That settles it! Oyasumi Nasai everyone!  
~Shadi and Yami Yugi went downstairs while the others prepare to sleep. In  
the 1st Room.~  
Mokuba: Yippee! We're sharing!  
Bakura & Seto: *glares at each other* Yeah.  
Celestina: Aw. it's not all bad! Let's just forget about it and sleep!  
Mokuba: No more fighting! The world's at war already!  
Celestina: *kisses both Seto and Bakura on the cheek*  
Mokuba: Good night kissies! That would make them quiet for a while!  
Celestina: Night! And don't fight!  
Seto: Oyasumi Nasai, Celestina!  
Bakura: Same with me!  
Celestina: De ja vu! First Yami, then Duke then Yami Bakura.  
Mokuba: What can I say? They're just jealous of my big brother! He's a  
smooth operator!  
Celestina: Ah hahaha.. *groans* Oyasumi Nasai.  
~In the 2nd Room.~  
Pegasus: *combing hair* Comb comb comb! But I envy you 2. You get to have  
short hair!  
Tristan & Duke: *glares at each other* Right.  
Mia: Why was I even supposed to be here?  
Pegasus: We'll just sleep. Right, guys?  
Tristan & Duke: *still glares*  
Mia: That's deaf entertainment.  
Pegasus: More of a silent movie.  
Mia: Glad Serenity wasn't here.  
Pegasus: If she were here, there would be a riot.  
Mia: Hai. Well, oyasumi nasai!  
~In the 3rd Room~  
Mai: All girls! Right on!  
Serenity: And safe too.  
Monoki: Bakura hates me!  
Amelia: Oh cheer up. His dark side's a cranky one.  
Mai: I'm sooo comfortable, I don't wanna sleep! But I can get eye bags so  
maybe I will sleep.  
Oyasumi nasai! *sleeps*  
Serenity: Me, too. Oyasumi Nasai! *sleeps*  
Monoki: I'm not in the mood for sleeping.  
Amelia: I can stay up like a hawk and an owl!  
Monoki: Go to sleep. go to sleep.  
Amelia: Losing energy! *sleeps*  
Monoki: *sigh* *sleeps*  
~In the 4th Room~  
Isis: *combing hair*  
Weevil: How silky your hair is. Does it get any lice?  
Isis: *raises an eyebrow*  
Weevil: Gomen. Don't know what has gotten in to me.  
Rex: Hey I only get dandruff! No lice can enter my hair!  
Malik: Absolute no creepy crawlies in my hair. Big sister combs it  
everytime.  
Weevil: Hey that's not fair at all! I'm the only one with really short  
hair!  
Isis: Don't you boys think it's way past your bedtime?  
Rex: Rex Raptor has no bedtime!  
Weevil: *yawn* I'll just bug hunt in my dream.  
Malik: Trust my sister! She's the eldest!  
Rex: Eh fine! *sleeps*  
~In the final room.~  
Miho: I can't wait to get out of here!  
Joey: Yeah. But this place doesn't give me the creeps!  
Miho: What about the knife part?  
Joey: That was Bakura!  
Tea: Are you worried of someone?  
Joey: Yeah, my sister.  
Jami: And my brother! He might be fighting with Seto right now!  
Joey: And she must be tug-of-warred by Tristan & Duke.  
Tea & Miho: How desperate.  
Miho: I wanna sleep so I can get outta here! Oyasumi Nasai!  
~Everyone slept and slept until they woke up and droved back home. ~  
Moral Lesson: Always flush the toilet  
~Tune in next time for another episode of Psychotic Nights! Where we copy  
the TV shows Punk'd and maybe a bit of Scooby-Doo. ~  
  
Ryou: I flush the toilet everytime!  
Ryou_Kaiba: I'm glad someone supports my lessons!  
Yami: They're stupid!  
Seto: You expect citizens to follow that?  
Ryou_Kaiba: Well. uh. 


	5. Curiosity Kills the Idiot

~Psychotic Nights: Curiosity Kills the Idiot~  
  
DISCLAIMER: Uh. I only own this fic.  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Joey! Where's my coffee?  
  
Joey: Why do you need it?  
  
~Young curious Joey is so curious about many things. He asks a lot of questions and end even asks his own self or the air and always waits for a response. On a Christmas day.~  
  
Joey: Presents! And I ask you. what are presents for anyway?  
  
Seto: Gee. ask yourself baka! *putting up mistletoe*  
  
Joey: Why do people hang up sprigs of mistletoes? And what's with the word "sprig" anyway?  
  
Yugi: You see, Joey. They hang up mistletoes so they could uh. kiss someone.  
  
Joey: Even gays?  
  
Tristan: When will you ever learn?  
  
Joey: I'm afraid I ask the questions here! I am the curious one! Besides, why am I curious anyway?  
  
Yugi: Uhh. Because you are? *hands out Seto a box of Christmas decors*  
  
Seto: Besides asking questions, why won't you help decorate the house?  
  
Joey: There's another thing! Why do people even decorate?  
  
Tristan: Because it's Christmas! It's the season of giving!  
  
Joey: Does that answer my question!?  
  
Seto: *slaps forehead* Oh brother. *walks to a room carrying the Christmas decors*  
  
Tristan: Cranky.  
  
Ryou: Hey ya guys!  
  
Yugi: Konnichiwa Ryou!  
  
Joey: Ryou, why's your hair white?  
  
Ryou: It's natural. Why do you ask?  
  
Joey: I'm just curious. That's all.  
  
Ryou: Where are the girls by the way?  
  
Yugi: Christmas shopping.  
  
Ryou: With Monoki?  
  
Yugi: Nah. Monoki went to her hometown to celebrate a tradition.  
  
Ryou: Phew!  
  
Tristan: And Duke won't be coming so I have Serenity all for my own!  
  
Yugi: Oh Serenity won't come also because there's another Christmas party she'll be attending to.  
  
Seto: I just called Celestina; she said that they would arrive in about an hour.  
  
Joey: An hour? Why?  
  
Seto: I'm not going to even answer that! Ryou, help me decorate the Christmas tree!  
  
Ryou: Hai!  
  
Yugi: Tristan and I will bake some cookies!  
  
Joey: How can I help in this Christmas day?  
  
Yugi: You could just mingle around and stuff.  
  
Tristan: Yugi, we don't have a cookie cutter.  
  
Yugi: Oh right. Joey, could you run on an errand for me. Could you buy a cookie cutter down at the bakery?  
  
Joey: Hai! Uh. how can I get there?  
  
Yugi: Right. Seto! Could you drive Joey to the bakery?  
  
Seto: Why should I?  
  
Tristan: Celestina likes cookies!  
  
Seto: Fine, hop in. *gets keys*  
  
~So the car started and they drove to the bakery~  
  
Joey: Seto, why do they put road signs up?  
  
Seto: Warnings. Don't bug me.  
  
Joey: *passes by a speed limit sign* Speed Limit 10 kilometers per hour.  
  
Seto: Here we are at the bakery. You watch the car. I'll go buy it. AND DON'T START IT!  
  
Joey: Hai, Seto.  
  
~While Seto was buying the cookie cutter, Joey was just waddling around Seto's car~  
  
Joey: I'm bored. *turns on radio* Music good.  
  
~While Simple Plan was being played, Joey was noticing the key~  
  
Joey: Ooooh. what does this thingy do?  
  
Seto: Don't even touch that! *gets back in the car*  
  
Joey: Why do you need cookies for Christmas?  
  
Seto: Go to Santa Claus.  
  
Joey: Now there's a theory! Santa! Is he real or not?  
  
Seto: I'm not the right person to talk to right now.  
  
Joey: Then who?  
  
Seto: I don't know. Yourself, maybe?  
  
Joey: That might be crazy enough to work! Hey myself! Where can you find Santa?  
  
Seto: *sigh*  
  
~At home.~  
  
Yugi: Tristan! Is the dough ready?  
  
Tristan: Wait! I'm still adding vanilla!  
  
Yugi: Tristan, I don't think you're supposed to-  
  
~Then BOOM! There was dough everywhere~  
  
Tristan: I forgot. We were going to make cookies. Not soufflé!  
  
Ryou: Hey guys, what was that booming sound?  
  
Tristan: Soufflé. Even though it's not supposed to be soufflé.  
  
Ryou: Okay! Uh. can you judge my Christmas tree decorations?  
  
Yugi: Sure, Ryou. *goes outside*  
  
~The tree was covered with pretty lights, multi-colour balls, red and green tinsel, gingerbread men and a Christmas fairy on the top~  
  
Tristan: Wow. wait until Seto comes in.  
  
Yugi: I didn't know you had a talent for decorating, Ryou.  
  
Ryou: I'm so full of mysteries, aren't I?  
  
~Then the doorbell rang~  
  
Seto: *hanging Joey by the collar* Hurry up, this boy's going way beyond curious.  
  
Joey: And blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  
  
Tristan: Hmm. you're right.  
  
Yugi: Where's the cookie cutter?  
  
Seto: Oh right. *hands over the cookie cutter*  
  
Yugi: Ryou, can you bake?  
  
Ryou: *shakes head*  
  
Yugi: Guess I'll have to do it on my own. *goes back to kitchen*  
  
Seto: *looks at Christmas tree* Who did this?  
  
Ryou: I did! You like?  
  
Seto: Good enough.  
  
Tristan: Good enough? Seto, it's art!  
  
Seto: I've seen better Christmas trees.  
  
Tristan: Yeah. Like in New York.  
  
Ryou: You don't like my work? *cries*  
  
Joey: Why's Bakura crying?  
  
Tristan: Seto broke his heart.  
  
Joey: They were liking each other?!  
  
Seto: Hell no! I just broke his creative spirit!  
  
Joey: What's a creative spirit? What's it for?  
  
Seto: *sigh* *goes to a room*  
  
Joey: Why do you need to be so solitaire?! Seto! Answer!  
  
Tristan: Joey, how many questions did you just ask him?  
  
Joey: About a hundred.  
  
Tristan: *mouth wide open*  
  
~About 30 minutes later.~  
  
Yugi: Somebody help with the door!  
  
Ryou: *opens door for Yugi*  
  
Yugi: Arigato, Ryou! You know guys; let's have a deal. In order to keep the Christmas spirit and no more fighting. We won't use Millenium Items.  
  
Ryou: That's good!  
  
Joey: But Yugi, why?  
  
Yugi: Why are you asking when you don't have a Mllenium Item?  
  
Joey: I'm just curious.  
  
Ryou: I thought so. *removes Millenium Ring and hands it to Yugi*  
  
Yugi: Now, a place to hide these. *goes to the kitchen and hides the Millenium Items in a drawer* There.  
  
Seto: Did I miss anything?  
  
Tristan: Yugi hid the Millenium Items.  
  
Seto: He did? *turns back* Yes!  
  
~Then half an hour later.~  
  
Seto: *sitting like a couch potato* I've been sitting here for minutes! Where are the ladies?!  
  
Ryou: 5.4.3.2.1.  
  
~The doorbell rang~  
  
Yugi: How'd you know?  
  
Ryou: I simply.  
  
Jounouchi: *with Ryou going "blah, bah, blah" in the background* ("He's such a mystery. I'm so curious. I should ask a lot of questions once he stops. what's going to be for breakfast? I wonder.")  
  
Ryou: Then there.  
  
Tristan: Great.  
  
Seto: *answers the door*  
  
Mai: Konbanwa! We kept you waiting?!  
  
Seto: Hai! *gets Celestina* Come on!  
  
Yugi: Oh and may I remind you there will be no Millenium Items in this party. If you're against this rule you will never know what could happen.  
  
Isis: *removes Millenium Necklace and hands it to Yugi*  
  
Malik: Will I still get it back?  
  
Yugi: Oh come on Malik! Just for this Christmas!  
  
Malik: Fine. *hands over Millenium Rod*  
  
Tea: What about Celestina?  
  
Honda: You wouldn't wanna disturb him.  
  
Tea: Him?  
  
Honda: Ahem.  
  
Tea: Oh that him!  
  
Mai: Nani?  
  
Tea: *whispers to Mai*  
  
Mai: Oh.  
  
Isis: I don't need to know.  
  
~Later.~  
  
Ryou: I just don't know why Seto and Celestina is hogging up the mistletoe.  
  
Tea: They're the only couple right now.  
  
Tristan: No one could stop them. Well, maybe except Yami Bakura. And destiny.  
  
Joey: And how come I never had a line ever since the girls came in?!  
  
~After Seto & Celestina made some "smoochies", they decided to go to the bedroom~  
  
Tristan: There they go.  
  
Yugi: You can expect anything!  
  
Joey: Maybe I should go in!  
  
Everyone: Joey, don't!  
  
Joey: What is it?!  
  
Yugi: Well. you wouldn't wanna know.  
  
Tea: It's uh. something.  
  
Ryou: Exploring in it would be a crime!  
  
Isis: Not exactly that!  
  
Mai: Hai, it's a crime. But you don't get to jail.  
  
Joey: See? *goes to the room*  
  
~In a nasty surprise, Seto & Celestina saw him and well. pounded him. Joe is sooo curious!~  
  
Moral Lesson: Curiosity Kills the Dog. And that dog is Jou!  
  
~Tune in next time for another adventure episode of Psychotic Nights. Nighty night! Even though you're not asleep yet~  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: I should add some wrestlers next time!  
  
Everyone: No way!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Come on! You afraid?  
  
Everyone: *grabs the terrorizing director*  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: What are you doing? Oh please don't piledrive me! I'll be good! 


	6. Life as a Duel Monster

~Psychotic Nights: Life as a Duel Monster~  
DISCLAIMER: I own this ficcie! No one can deny! This is my song! I only  
never lie! *tap dances*  
  
~The gang was just walking downtown when they stumbled upon a mad genius~  
Mad Genius: What brings youth like you here?  
Yugi: Technically, we're just walking.  
Mad Genius: I see. and who are you all?  
Tea: I am Tea Gardner, the blonde is Joey Wheeler, the boy with brown hair  
is Tristan Taylor, the boy with wavy coats is Seto Kaiba, the boy with a  
freakish laugh is Malik Ishtar, the girl with a pretty smile is Isis  
Ishtar, the boy with a Texan accent is Ryou Bakura and the boy you talked  
to awhile ago was Yugi Motou.  
Mad Genius: Aah. So you're the King of Games? Why you look so puny for a  
king!  
Joey: It's just his other self, right Yugi?  
Yugi: Hai!  
Seto: What do you want anyway?  
Mad Genius: Well I don't know that Duel Monsters game.  
Everyone: *animefall*  
Joey: You went through us just to say a puny "I don't know what Duel  
Monsters is" line?  
Isis: It's not entirely his fault.  
Malik: I say we kill him!  
Yugi: Iya! Maybe he's on to something!  
Tristan: But he doesn't know Duel Monsters, Yugi.  
Joey: You mean like you?  
Mad Genius: You see. I'm looking for something to test my experiment.  
Bakura: An experiment?  
Isis: Then why are you asking the good guys when you're a mad genius?  
Mad Genius: But how did you-  
Isis: Prediction.  
Mad Genius: What a great force field!  
Malik: Force field? It's just her Millennium Necklace that's all.  
Yugi: Every Millennium Item has a special power. And a spirit.  
Mad Genius: Then I must test it on you!  
Yugi: Nan?  
Mad Genius: *pushes a remote button*  
~Then everything was a mix. That moment, in a duel.~  
Joey: What the?  
Flame Swordsman: I'll play Joey Wheeler in defense position!  
Joey: Flame. Flame Swordsman? Me? In defense?  
Petit Angel: I'll play Tea Gardner in attack position!  
Joey: Tea? Being controlled by Petit Angel?  
Tea: Joey!  
Petit Angel: I'll use Tea's special attack! Friendship speech!  
Tea: Oh right! Friends are.  
Joey: No not that! *covers ears*  
Flame Swordsman: Iie! Joey will get bored of Tea's speeches! No wonder he  
never wins!  
Joey: Hey! I'll show you!  
Petit Angel: Finishing touch! Seto Kaiba!  
Seto: Nan?  
Petit Angel: Taunt Attack!  
Seto: Hai. Worthless puppy dog!  
Joey: Oh jeez! *goes to the graveyard*  
Petit Angel: I win again!  
Flame Swordsman: I'm going to get new cards!  
~In the Shadow Realm~  
Joey: Man! What was that?!  
Yugi: Hey Joey!  
Tristan: Where's the old man?  
Seto: He has to be somewhere! An angel controlled me!  
Tea: Me, too.  
Mai: Hey! What are you all doing here?!  
Everyone: Mai?  
Yugi: How are your duels?  
Mai: It's going great! Harpie never loses!  
Pegasus: Kids?  
Everyone: Pegasus?  
Yugi: Something weird is going on.  
Mad Genius: I think I can explain.  
Seto: Oh! There you are old man! You have a lot of explaining to do!  
Mad Genius: I know. Well, I turned all duelists into the Duel Monster and  
the monsters will be the duelists. I hope you don't mind.  
Tristan: Us? Don't mind?  
Yugi: Are you kidding?! How can we change back?!  
Mad Genius: That's the problem. I haven't made a counter button. Tell you  
what, why won't you all duel while I fix this problem.  
Tea: You better be quick!  
~In a duel.~  
Blue-Eyes: I play Seto Kaiba in attack position!  
Seto: Blue-Eyes.  
Harpie Lady: I'll play Tea Gardner!  
Tea: Seto!  
Seto: Oh God.  
Tea: *runs away*  
Harpie Lady: Hey!  
Blue-Eyes: Ha! Tea ran away because Seto doesn't care about friendship! Now  
I'll play Joey Wheeler!  
Joey: Seto!  
Seto: Great.  
Harpie Lady: I'll play Yami Yugi!  
Yami: Seto! Joey!  
Seto: Oh I'll get you!  
Harpie Lady: Since Seto and Yugi are rivals, Seto gets defeated every time!  
Seto smashed!  
Yami Y: Um. Mind Crash?  
Seto: Arigato! Well, Joey you're on your own. *goes to graveyard*  
Joey: Iya!  
Blue-Eyes: But wait! Yugi and Joey are friends! This is my killing combo! I  
summon the great Malik Ishtar!  
Malik: Nan?  
Blue-Eyes: Malik Ishtar! Mind Control!  
Malik: Sweet! *uses the Millennium Rod*  
Yami: *goes to the Blue-Eyes field*  
Blue-Eyes: Now Yami, attack Harpie directly!  
Harpie Lady: Iya!  
Yami: Mind Crash!  
Harpie Lady: Iiie! I lost! Gomenasai Mai.  
~Later.~  
Mai: Harpie lost to a duel! That is sooo unacceptable!  
Yami Y & Malik: Ha ha ha haha!  
~In a duel.~  
Toon Summoned Skull: I'll play Pegasus J. Crawford in defense position!  
Equip him with Millennium Eye!  
Pegasus: Oh.  
Dark Magician: I'll summon my most trusted card! Yugi Motou!  
Yugi: Eh?  
Dark Magician: Equipped with the Millennium Puzzle! Now Yugi will evolve to  
Yami Yugi!  
Pegasus: It's Yugi-boy.  
Toon Summoned Skull: You'll have to do better than that! Duke Devlin in  
attack position!  
Duke: I'm here! *looks at Yami Yugi* Yugi?  
Dark Magician: Oh no! I have to do something! Duke and Pegasus are  
partners! They join forces; they can make the most unbeatable game! I'll  
play Seto Kaiba with Duel Disk System!  
Seto: Hmmm.  
Yami: Seto! Duel Disk!  
Seto: *gives a Duel Disk System to Yami Yugi*  
Dark Magician: And with that! I'll play my most secret card.  
Toon Summoned Skull: Grr. Pegasus! Mind Scan!  
Pegasus: *sigh* Mind Scan. *writes Dark Magician's strategy on a piece of  
paper and gives to Toon Summoned Skull*  
Toon Summoned Skull: Aha. So you decided that? Counter with the card Men  
Only!  
Dark Magician: Iya!  
Toon Summoned Skull: Hai. Only men can play in this game. All our female  
cards will be removed from the game!  
Pegasus: Men Only? I'm not even sure I created that card.  
Dark Magician: Fine then! I'll set this duelist in defence position!  
Toon Summoned Skull: Duelist? You'll never win in just that! Duke! Attack  
with your dice!  
Duke: Dice Roll!  
Dark Magician: Flip effect activate! Ryou's effect!  
Duke: Ryou!?  
Toon Summoned Skull: The Ryou Bakura card?!  
Ryou: Uh. what do I do again?  
Dark Magician: Once Bakura goes to the graveyard, I'll be able to get a  
duellist from my deck and control your current monster! And that would be  
Pegasus!  
Toon Summoned Skull: IYA!!!  
Ryou: Okay! *goes to the graveyard*  
Dark Magician: Now I'll control your Pegasus! Then I tribute all of them  
to. Pharaoh Yami!  
Toon Summoned Skull: IYA!!! No one has ever called Pharaoh Yami before!  
Dark Magician: Pharaoh Yami! Dark Judgement!  
Yami: Guards!!!  
Toon Summoned Skull: I lost!  
Dark Magician: And since we were playing by Battle Town rules, give me your  
Pegasus card!  
~Back to the Shadow Realm~  
Pegasus: It seems that I am now Dark Magician's card.  
Yami: Welcome to the deck, Pegasus!  
Seto: How come I'm a common card?! I happen to be the president of Kaiba  
Corp!  
~In Konami.~  
Konami guy: Seto should be a rare card! He's president!  
Konami guy #2: Hai! We don't want him to complain.  
Konami guy: His fans will be disappointed.  
Konami guy #2: Yami Yugi, too! They are rivals! Also Malik Ishtar!  
~Back there.~  
Pegasus: News! Seto Kaiba, Yami Yugi and Malik Ishtar are now rare cards.  
Arigato.  
Seto: Hai!  
Malik: I'm a rare card!  
Yami: Who could be our new owner? Now that we're rare cards.  
~In the duelist place~  
Slifer: I got Yami Yugi!  
Obelisk: I got Seto Kaiba!  
Ra: I got Malik Ishtar!  
God Cards: Let's duel!  
~In the lounge~  
Mad Genius: I got it! Hold on everyone! *presses button*  
~They all landed on soft grass~  
Yugi: We're home!  
Tristan: Or are we?  
Joey: Why?  
~A flock of Pikachus went to them and used Thundershock. So that's the end.  
The Mad Genius pressed it again; they went to the Digi World. He pressed it  
again; they were in ancient Japan with swords everywhere. Bakura had enough  
of this and snatched the remote then it was all normal. ~  
Moral Lesson: Never let an evil genius control the remote  
~Tune in next time for another episode of Psychotic Nights. This is Lance  
Fancypants saying Good night. God bless. Back to you Susan. KCMYY News. ~  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: I'm glad I was director!  
Tea: Ow! I hate being controlled by Petit Angel!  
Pegasus: Who comes up with these horrible ideas? 


	7. Vampire Double Trouble Part 1

~Psychotic Nights: Vampire Double Trouble (Part 1)~  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show Yu-Gi-Oh! But if I did own it, I would remove all the females in it and make Seto flirt with Isis.  
  
Isis: Wha?  
  
Seto: Are you talking crazy?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: And Celestina will come in and rampage.  
  
Celestina: Why would I do that?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Seto's a two-timer! Don't hit me!  
  
Seto: I was not!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Explain Serenity!  
  
Seto: Keep her out of this! I don't even like her!  
  
Serenity: You don't?  
  
Joey: Wha?  
  
Isis: Ugh! We'll talk about this later!  
  
~2 Vampires has been released to Domino City. Now it's headed to Domino High School. In Yugi's classroom, a duel has taken place on his seat~  
  
Joey: Be very careful, Tristan!  
  
Tea: It's your first time and you're just here to learn.  
  
Tristan: Yeah, yeah. I know what I'm doing.  
  
Yugi: Your move, Tristan.  
  
Tristan: Hmmm.  
  
Joey: Aww. isn't it cute when he's thinking?  
  
Tristan: Back off, Joey. I'll never learn if you keep on making noise. So I'll play Mystic Clown in attack position.  
  
Seto: Well well well. an amateur has been asking a master duelist to teach him how to play Duel Monsters. Very interesting. just like before.  
  
Tea: Hey Seto! Just because you're head of the school website doesn't mean you can mind into somebody else's business!  
  
Joey: Yeah! Mind your own beeswax!  
  
Seto: Hey, it's hard to have 2 jobs. Being president of a company and being head of the school website. Actually I'm offering my position so I can spend more time in my real office.  
  
Joey: As president?  
  
Seto: Iie. As head of the website.  
  
Yugi: That's the idea Seto!  
  
Seto: Who needs your help? I'm just going to give it to Mokuba.  
  
Joey: Hey! You can't get away with everything! Ne, Yugi?  
  
Tristan: Pretty good move, huh Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Hai. Pretty good move. But not. *plays Dark Magician* good enough.  
  
Tristan: Nan?  
  
Joey: Whoa. You stink at this game, Tris. But of course I can't blame you, beginner!  
  
Tristan: Well if you're that show-offy, why can't we duel?  
  
Joey: Oh it's on now!  
  
~Then the principal spoke up through the P.A.~  
  
P.A.: Attention students, this is your principal speaking. There has been a pair of vampires on the loose and is now headed here. So. RUN!!! PANIC!!! EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS!!!  
  
~Everyone panicked except Ryou who has been smiling and reading a book~  
  
Ryou: Vampires. Nothing to worry about. *transforms to Yami Bakura* Because I am one of them. *smirks*  
  
Yugi: Bakura! Come on! This is not a drill!  
  
Bakura: Ahh shut up! It's just a vampire.  
  
Joey: Just?! Just a vampire?! This is our blood that we're talking about! You wanna die bloodless?!  
  
Bakura: Even though we'll die we will become bloodless anyway.  
  
Yugi: He's right. Nothing to worry about, Joey.  
  
Joey: But we're still teens! We can't die on that age! What about our children? And our children's children! And our children's children's children! And our children's children's children's children!  
  
~He went on like that until Yugi remembered something~  
  
Yugi: Seto! He doesn't know! Even though he's a jerk he's still a lovable jerk! Ever wonder why he has so many fans?  
  
Bakura: Don't know with you. But I'm going with my "homies".  
  
Joey: Homies?! Of course! They suit you perfectly Bakura! Only. you steal souls. you know.  
  
~Seto, who was headed to the car was blocked by a vampire~  
  
Vampire: Boooo! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Seto: Quit wasting my time. *ignores the vampire*  
  
Vampire: Oy!  
  
~When Seto was going to the car, the vampire followed. As Seto closed the car door, the vampire bonked his head on it~  
  
Seto: Hey! You're giving the car a scratch!  
  
Vampire: *feeling head* Oh.  
  
Yugi: Seto!  
  
Bakura: Hey! My homie!  
  
Tristan: Homie?  
  
Joey: Short story.  
  
Bakura: *goes to the vampire*  
  
~After terrorizing the girl's bathroom, the 2nd vampire sensed his brother outside~  
  
2nd Vampire: Vrother! Vare you ozay?  
  
Vampire: Ze voy got away.  
  
Joey: Vampires. They disgust me!  
  
2nd Vampire: Vot did you zay?!  
  
Vampire: Zorry. He getz a vit cranky when ze people teaze uz.  
  
Bakura: Hello my homiez! Vlah!  
  
Vampire: I'm zorry. Have we met?  
  
Bakura: Well, vright now, yez.  
  
Yugi: Umm. We come in peace? *doing that alien peace sign*  
  
Tea: What is your business here?  
  
Vampire: Vot?  
  
Joey: Bakura, translate.  
  
Bakura: You're not the boss of me! *to the vampires* I'm zorry, my vriend got vrunk.  
  
Vampire: Vee understand.  
  
Tristan: *tries vampire* Uh. vhy vere you chazing Zeto Kaiba?  
  
Yugi: Uh. vot he said.  
  
2nd Vampire: Uh. oh nothing. He was just causing trouble to our lives.  
  
Joey: You can speak plain English?! Sheesh!  
  
Vampire: Annoying is what we do!  
  
Everyone: *animefall*  
  
~Later, at Kaiba Corp. In Seto's office~  
  
Seto: Mokuba, why must you watch that?  
  
Mokuba: I'm aware about the vampires roaming here in Domino!  
  
Seto: Oh sheesh. And you believe in that?  
  
~A vampire knocked on the window~  
  
Mokuba: Gasp! Big brother! Behind you!  
  
Seto: *looks behind and sees nothing* Mokuba no more jokes and leave me to my business.  
  
Mokuba: Demmo. I just saw a vampire behind you.  
  
Seto: Well I'll leave you there. There's still a meeting.  
  
~Then the vampires busted in~  
  
Vampire: Vlah! Vlah! You'll vee dead Kaiba vrothers!  
  
Seto: Oh brother!  
  
Mokuba: Big brother! I'm scared!  
  
Seto: You and your whinings. Why do I even bother?  
  
2nd Vampire: We've come to suck your blood!  
  
Seto: Duh.  
  
Vampire: You leave me no choice!  
  
~So they did suck their blood then the Kaiba brothers did turn to vampires. Later, at the game shop.~  
  
Grandpa: A vampire just went to Domino?  
  
Yugi: It was an accident Grandpa! Don't take me to another school! They didn't expect that to happen!  
  
Grandpa: Why should I send you to another school? You work perfectly fine in school!  
  
Jou: Gee. vampires.  
  
Bakura: And they all have revenge on Seto.  
  
Tea: I wonder what troubled them from him.  
  
Joey: Maybe Seto is secretly a vampire slayer! That would be really cool!  
  
Tristan: Does Seto look like he slays vampires?  
  
Yugi: Maybe Joey's right.  
  
Bakura: But vampires are considered zombies am I not right?  
  
Grandpa: I think that Seto boy just had some trouble with them.  
  
Yugi: Wait! What if it's not Seto's fault?  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Joey: Yugi, who else Kaiba do we know besides Mokuba and Seto?  
  
Yugi: His step-father! He was fired so what choice do we have in asking?!  
  
Tea: That's easy.  
  
~A few moments later.~  
  
Joey: *holding a video camera* Tea, what's this crazy idea you have?  
  
Tea: We're going to act like news reporters! Tristan and Bakura will record everything he said!  
  
Tristan: I am working with him again.  
  
Yugi: This is great! Ingenious! I've never seen anything like this! You are the most artistic, talented, brightest, supercalifragilisticexpialidociousest and heroic person I knew!  
  
Tristan: No more sugar for you.  
  
Tea: Wow.  
  
Joey: Is there even a word supercalifragilisticexpialidocius?  
  
Bakura: Wow. Yugi's a walking dictionary.  
  
~Yugi went on and on saying a lot of hard words to praise Tea. He went on like this until Joey bonked him on the head making him unconscious. So they went to the big house Gozaburo Kaiba was living. ~  
  
Tea: This is it. Who's knocking?  
  
Joey: Give the weed a chance.  
  
Tea: Weed?  
  
Tristan: *pushes Yugi*  
  
Tea: Oh. Yugi, please knock the door!  
  
Yugi: Arigato Tea-san. Although I'm really shy. *Millenium Item glows and transforms to Yami Yugi* I have enough confidence. *knocks door*  
  
~For several hours, he has been knocking and knocking the door~  
  
Joey: *snore* Mommy, I'm hot!  
  
Yami: Damn door! *knock, knock, knock, knock* I've had enough! *punches door*  
  
~The door busted open but they saw nothing but cobwebs~  
  
Bakura: Nan?  
  
Yami Y: After all my knocking! No one has been living here?!  
  
Joey: So maybe he's dead?  
  
Tea: But his officemate said he lives here.  
  
Honda: Maybe he is dead.  
  
Bakura: We could just try exploring inside it.  
  
Tea: Good idea, Bakura!  
  
Joey: So what you're saying is. we're going inside that filthy house?  
  
~A bat swarmed over them and hung to a nearby tree~  
  
Tristan: Uh. who goes first?  
  
Bakura: *goes inside*  
  
~So they all went inside~  
  
Joey: Flashlight!  
  
Bakura: *turns it on*  
  
Joey: Arigato guzaimasu.  
  
Tea: What an ancient house!  
  
Yami: I can feel it. It's 50 years old. My pyramid's only about 5000 years old and it still stands strong.  
  
Tristan: Smells like it.  
  
Ghost: Who's there? Are you Gozzie's friends?  
  
Joey: Gozzie?  
  
Tea: I think it means Gozaburo.  
  
Yami: Is he dead?  
  
Ghost: Iie. He just left this home.  
  
Yami: Domo Arigato. We'll be leaving now.  
  
~So they all left the creepy house. Will they ever figure out the secrets behind the vampire's vengeance? Find out in another episode of Psychotic Nights. Cut! ~  
  
Serenity: Goodbye hopes and dreams! I'll never be meeting you again!  
  
Isis: Cold queen!  
  
Celestina: Idiot priest!  
  
Isis: Sex addict!  
  
Celestina: GASP! That hurts. Boring history fanatic!  
  
Isis: Watch your mouth!  
  
Seto: Girls. I'm just too hot for them.  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: You've seen it all! Girls Gone Wild Yu-Gi-Oh! Style!  
  
Mokuba: No more porn for me. 


	8. The other characters in here

Character Intros:  
  
Name: Celestina Fauxa  
  
Age: 15-17  
  
Partner: Seto  
  
Description: She is Jou's cousin, her family's company owns all the gaming companies in Domino (imagine that richness) but she lives below her means (meaning acting like she's normal and not rich and snobby). Her parents died, she's solitaire. She only has maids and butlers and a driver named Cadbury (mmm. chocolate. mmm). She owns a Millenium Item called the Millenium Opal (a big gem and she wears it like a pendant). Her real home is Britain but she manages to speak some English and Japanese and flies to Domino. She went to Domino at the age of 10.  
  
How Seto and her met: In the orphanage. Before her parents died, she visits the orphanage every time. When she sees Mokuba being bullied and Seto protecting him she would wanna ditch her parents and go and help Mokuba. The started to be good friends. Then, when young Seto heard that she's leaving he decided to give a ring (no, there's no engagement yet. What can you expect when he's 11?) . Celestina flied to Paris along with her parents. Years later, when her mom and dad were on their way to a meeting. Well there's a car crash so she had to fly back to Domino. And to a surprise, in Domino High, she didn't expect Seto to be there. But he was. But those were a lot of years, they probably forgot about each other. While walking, Celestina was going to the opposite direction of Seto. Then a loose (yet leashed) dog twirled around them then closer and closer they go in a spirally way. So they finally remembered each other and hung out instead of friends but more than friendship.  
  
Aibou: Her dark side Celestia was Queen of Games. Being Yami's "wife" and all, she despises Seto. What she did? Back in Egyptian times, she absolutely hated Seto. She would take his soul in deep trouble but he's just lucky his cousin is Yami which makes Celestia his cousin-in-law or something. One fateful day, she took the Millenium Rod and hid it somewhere. Seto kept on finding and finding but he can't seem to find it. Poor thing. The Opal has two sides. The Dark Side (Necrophius) kills while the Light Side (Lumious) raises the dead.  
  
Characters that I really didn't make-up (just making them quick)  
  
Name: Jami Bakura  
  
Age: 17ish  
  
Description: She's Ryou's sister (I know he has a dead sis. Just stick with it) I can't really say much! Yeah. One year diff.  
  
Aibou: Jamie. She's the queen's sister, making her Yami's sister-in-law and Seto's cousin-in-law  
  
Name: Amelia Lockhart (prfpt! My friend is such a funny namer! But I am funnier!)  
  
Age: 23. ish. (there I go again!)  
  
Description: Pegasus' "fiancee". Well I don't know! That's what my friend says!  
  
Name: Celia Ishtar  
  
Age: 16  
  
Description: Love into Ryou, gasp! Jami's bro! Especially when they're friends! Wait! De ja vu! This happened before. Don't mind the Ishtar thing. ^_^  
  
Characters that are in the skits but I don't own them:  
  
Name: Monoki (to refresh you, she belongs to Monoki. uh. doy!)  
  
Age: 16.ish.  
  
Description: Uh. I don't have the info. Just look for Monoki in the Search thingy!  
  
Name: Mia Isaar  
  
Age: 16. I think. I thought. I don't know.  
  
Description: More scription when you search for the story The new girl. By Bakura's Obsessed Girlfriend.  
  
NO MORE CHARACTERS?!! Good. now with the story! 


	9. Vampire Double Trouble Part 2

~Psychotic Nights: Vampire Double Trouble (Part 2)  
  
DISCLAIMER: I said this once. twice or something. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh but I do own Seto and Celestina's pair-up.  
  
Serenity: That's okay for me!  
  
Seto: *his arm around Celestina*  
  
Celestina: Yes. And you do own me! But not Seto. Just our pair-up.  
  
~In Seto's office, Mokuba and Seto were hanging from a post upside down~  
  
Seto: Vampire yoga.  
  
Mokuba: How soothing.  
  
Vampire: Nice of you to enjoy it!  
  
Seto: I was wrong. It's nice to be a vampire!  
  
2nd Vampire: You're telling me! *sips a can of low-fat blood* Ah.  
  
~Then the gang busted in~  
  
Yugi: Freeze! We're afraid of no ghost!  
  
Joey: Who're you gonna call?  
  
Tea: Wait! This isn't Ghostbusters!  
  
Joey: Hmm. you're right. Then it should be-  
  
Tea: Buffy the Vampire Slayer!  
  
Yugi: Ingenious!  
  
Tristan: Somebody knock him out!  
  
Bakura: *gets a mallet and bonks Yugi unconscious*  
  
Joey: That would do.  
  
Vampire: Oh it's you kids! It's just too late Seto and Mokuba are now vampires!  
  
Seto: Ahem.  
  
Vampire: Oh what is it?!  
  
Seto: Remember the deal?  
  
Vampire: Oh fine. MASTER Seto.  
  
Tea: You're his servant!?  
  
Seto: First thing. *feet back to ground* The vampires will suck Yugi's blood.  
  
2nd Vampire: *to the other vampire* This guy's not half bad.  
  
Tristan: Fine with us.  
  
Tea: Wait! Even though Yugi's annoying, we should still help him! He's our friend and friendship is like-  
  
Seto: I changed my mind. Suck her blood instead!  
  
Bakura: Now that's really fine!  
  
Tea: You can't do that!  
  
Seto: Sez who?  
  
Tea: Sez my friends and me! Ne, guys?  
  
Everyone: *whistling a tune*  
  
Joey: Gomenasai, nan?  
  
Tea: You guys! Even if they will suck my blood, I will become a vampire!  
  
Mokuba: Good point.  
  
Seto: Kill her.  
  
Tea: Nani?!  
  
Vampire: The part I enjoy! *grabs Tea*  
  
~Then Yugi's Millennium Puzzle glows~  
  
Yami: No one kills anyone.  
  
Seto: Yugi. You appeared.  
  
Tea: Yugi! Teach Seto what friends are for!  
  
Yami: Why should I? No one would care anyway.  
  
Tea: I hate you people.  
  
Yami: I challenge you to a duel, Seto Kaiba!  
  
Seto: Duel shmuel! I've had enough of that! Thugs!  
  
Joey: Thugs?  
  
Vampires: We are thugs! *grabs Yami Yugi*  
  
Yami Y: Gah! *bites a vampire*  
  
Vampire: Ouch!  
  
2nd Vampire: Brother! You have been infected!  
  
Yami: *drops to the ground* Ouch.  
  
Joey: Yugi!  
  
Seto: Get him!  
  
~So the gang ran away. Then a Scooby-Doo cliché was formed. They were all chasing each other with the door cliché. After getting bored of it, they were trapped. No way out.~  
  
Jou: This is it! We're done for!  
  
Vampire pair: Wooooooooo!  
  
~Then the trapdoor swung and they transported to the other side of the room~  
  
Yami: *looking at the door* This door could help.  
  
Tristan: *opens it*  
  
Seto: Surprise!  
  
~Seto was in the door unexpected. ~  
  
Seto: I never expected you. But first. let Mokuba suck one of your bloods.  
  
Mokuba: Hmmm. I pick Joey!  
  
Seto: Save the dog for me and last!  
  
Joey: Phew!  
  
Seto: Go for Yami!  
  
Tristan: NO!  
  
Tea: We won't stand a chance!  
  
Bakura: Not if I'm around.  
  
Everyone: BAKURA!!  
  
Seto: Bakura. *chuckles* Will you even stand a chance?  
  
Bakura: *smirks* You see Seto, I myself. *shows fangs* am a vampire.  
  
Vampire: Haven't we seen him before?  
  
2nd Vampire: Yeah the psycho guy from Scream.  
  
Vampire: *smacks his brother on the head* No, idiot! He's the boy who called us "homies"  
  
2nd Vampire: Oh right. So?  
  
Vampire: Maybe you're right. Popcorn?  
  
2nd Vampire: Flavor?  
  
Vampire: Blood.  
  
2nd Vampire: Sweet!  
  
Bakura: Let's get this over with!  
  
Seto: Speak silent.  
  
Bakura: And carry.  
  
Both: *holds up a samurai sword* A big sword! *war cry*  
  
Joey: Cool! Lord of the Rings, Yu-Gi-Oh! style!  
  
~So the both were like fighting with unexpected samurai swords. ~  
  
Joey: I stand corrected, I mean Kill Bill! Volume 2!  
  
Seto: Make your move, Uma Thurman!  
  
Bakura: Well, prepare to die Lucy Liu!  
  
Both: *war cry again*  
  
~They went on like this till I don't know Yami acted as peacemaker~  
  
Yami: Stop it. You 2 act like little retarded children.  
  
Both: Who you callin' retarded?  
  
Yami: Uh. but that's not the point! My point is. look at you! You're all bloody! And you 2 aren't even rivals!  
  
Seto: Gee. We didn't know.  
  
Bakura: You're right, Pharaoh. We know exactly what to do.  
  
Yami: Apologize?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Seto: We decided to kill you. *holding up sword*  
  
Yami: Oh Ra. Guys! Little help!  
  
Bakura: Oh Ra is correct, Pharaoh! Let's kill him Seto!  
  
Seto: Right in front of you!  
  
~They knock Yami unconscious and tie him up to a chair~  
  
Yami: *wakes up* Wha?  
  
Bakura: Mornin' Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: You didn't kill me yet.  
  
Seto: We know. We decided to uh. kill your little F-R-I-E-N-D-S first.  
  
Bakura: Why did you spell out friends? *covers mouth* Uh-oh.  
  
Vampire: Why? I don't get what's going on!  
  
Tea: You shouldn't treat us this way Seto! And Bakura! You betrayed us! But we're still friends! And we stand up to our fears! No matter what happens we'll be there for each other! And when people think our friendship's breaking, it's almost like my heart will be broken! But my friends speak up and they don't let anyone boss them around! Friends help each other at all times and that's why-  
  
~Before she finished her speech, a vampire bonked her unconscious~  
  
Joey: Finally! It's about time someone did that!  
  
Bakura: Nice work homies!  
  
Vampire: Well we had to do it! We didn't want to spoil the good fight scenes.  
  
2nd Vampire: What he said!  
  
Seto: *looks around and sees Mokuba not around* Mokuba? Where'd Mokuba go?!  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Seto: Where's Mokuba!? *panicking* Where's my little brother?! *grabs Joey's shirt* Alright mutt, where's my brother?!  
  
Joey: Seto! Have you been drinking?  
  
Vampire: We know how that feels!  
  
Seto: If you don't give him to me now I will definitely-  
  
Joey: Alright, alright! We'll help you find your brother if you free us!  
  
Seto: Okay. But if you don't, I'll kill you!  
  
Joey: Fine with me. *whimpers*  
  
~So they all went looking for Mokuba, even in small things. They searched and searched for hours until they stopped at the cafeteria~  
  
Seto: My Mokuba! He's lost! Where could I ever find him?!  
  
Joey: If I were my enemy's brother, where would I hide?  
  
Mokuba: *licking lollipop* Hey guys! Who are you looking for?  
  
Tristan: Hey Mokuba! We're looking for Mokuba!  
  
Mokuba: Okay. *leaves*  
  
Seto: Wait a minute. MOKUBA!!! Wait! *runs for him*  
  
Bakura: Wait. What are we? *looks at hands* We're like. unmutated beasts!  
  
Joey: You're telling me.  
  
Bakura: We're being slaved! How tragic! We can't just get away with that!  
  
~Yami (who was still tied up to the chair) "jumped" his way to the place where they were~  
  
Yami: You guys! There you are!  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: Tomb Raider!  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: Tomb Raider!  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh!  
  
Yami: Tomb Raider!  
  
Joey: Puppy dog.  
  
Yami: Tomb Raider! I never expected you!  
  
Bakura: Speak for yourself!  
  
Vampire: Hey! Pharaoh! Uh. hi Tomb Raider?  
  
Both: You stay out of this!  
  
Yami: You're the one who caused this!  
  
Bakura: Look what you made us do!  
  
Joey: Yeah! You stupid vampires!  
  
2nd Vampire: I can't believe it! We're being accused again! Let's this ditch this place!  
  
Vampire: Yeah! Let's partake a role in Barbie!  
  
Bakura: Yeah! Go ahead and be sissy girl vampire homos!  
  
Vampires: We ARE sissy girl vampire homos!  
  
Yami: Oh. So do you know how to turn a vampire to human?  
  
Vampire: Well. we do remember a siren named Nina.  
  
Bakura: Nina?  
  
Joey: A siren?  
  
Tea: *who was awake from unconsciousness* Aren't sirens just legends?  
  
Vampire: Helluuu? We are vampires! And we are legends! What do you think you're talking to? Air?  
  
Joey: Maybe. (A/N: Joey was curious in the previous chapters. It was mentioned that he would even talk to the air)  
  
2nd Vampire: Anywho, you can find her in some studio. She disguised herself as a singer.  
  
Yami: Domino's soul siren?  
  
Bakura: Great! Where could we find her?  
  
Vampire: Didn't you listen? Some studio!  
  
Yami: We know that! But which one?  
  
Vampire: Some studio right down town.  
  
Tea: Oh. wait. There is no studio down town.  
  
Vampire: Well across town.  
  
Tristan: Nothing there either.  
  
Vampire: Well just look for her!  
  
Yami: No! Crazy head!  
  
2nd Vampire: She's a siren! How hard could it be?  
  
~They all looked at each other. Now the gang searched for every studio they could find. Will they ever find the siren that is Nina? Find out in the next chapter of Psychotic Nights! ~  
  
Yami: Nina? Ra, how will you ever change?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: I'm like that! What's your idea?!  
  
Bakura: Do we get paid for this?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Uh. heh. No.  
  
Everyone: *glares at Ryou_Kaiba*  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Uh. I can pay for that. 


	10. Vampire Double Trouble Part 3

~Psychotic Nights: Vampire Double Trouble (Part 3)~  
  
DISCLAIMER: Uh. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh?  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: There! I gave you paychecks! Now don't chase me!  
  
Seto: We won't. Or will we?  
  
~They reached the final studio and went inside~  
  
Yami: Finally!  
  
Tea: Where could she be?  
  
~Then they heard a loud, beautiful, singing voice from above~  
  
Tristan: She's upstairs!  
  
Joey: If I were a siren, where would I be?  
  
Everyone: The recording room!  
  
~In the recording room.~  
  
Nina: * "Broken Vow" is sang *  
  
Yami: Nina!  
  
Nina: *singing voice* Huh? What are-  
  
(A/N: Nina will be always singing here even if she talks)  
  
Joey: You're Nina?  
  
Tristan: We need you to save our friend!  
  
Tea: He's been turned to a vampire by other vampires!  
  
Bakura: Along with his little brother Mokuba!  
  
Nina: Vampires? Save friends? Meaning?  
  
Yami: A vampire homo told us that a siren named Nina could save our friend from being a vampire!  
  
Nina: Vampire homo? I think I can remember. I'm in!  
  
Everyone: Yeah!  
  
~Now that they found the siren, they have to find Seto and Mokuba while Seto looks for Mokuba which Mokuba is looking for something and that ends the chain~  
  
Seto: Mokuba! You rotten vampire brother! Why do you have to run away?  
  
Mokuba: Big brother I'm looking for something! *looks down and sees the something he's been looking for* There it is! *picks it up*  
  
Seto: *raced to Mokuba* All right what is it?  
  
Mokuba: *gives it to Seto* You dropped it while you were flying!  
  
Seto: Mokuba, where'd you get this?  
  
Mokuba: Uh. from your porn collection? *laughs nervously*  
  
Everyone: Seto!  
  
Seto: Huh?  
  
Yami: Mokuba! There you are! Seto found you? Why did you leave him?  
  
Mokuba: I was just going to return to him the magazine from his p-  
  
Seto: *covers Mokuba's mouth* Okay! No more! *keeps the magazine*  
  
Joey: You'll see the look on your face once Celestina comes back and hears about it!  
  
Seto: No please! I don't want to break up anymore!  
  
Tristan: Now that we've found you, you have to change back!  
  
Tea: Please Seto?  
  
Seto: Well, how?  
  
Yami: With Nina!  
  
Mokuba: How?  
  
Nina: Through my singing!  
  
(A/N: It's not actually true, I didn't want to waste my time researching so I just made it turn around like this.)  
  
Seto: What'll you sing to turn me into human?  
  
Nina: *mouth open* I have no idea!  
  
Everyone: *animefall*  
  
Joey: This sucks! How can I go home?  
  
Mokuba: Theoretically, if siren Nina will sing big brother's favorite song which big brother will enjoy and forget being a vampire and turn human just like that! Theoretical though.  
  
Yami: We'll just have to test it on Mokuba first!  
  
Mokuba: Year 3000 by Busted!  
  
Nina: Year 3000? I can't do that! Try a slow song!  
  
Mokuba: P.I.M.P?  
  
Nina: Nope.  
  
Mokuba: *thinks* Aha! Me Against the Music!  
  
Nina: Are you out of your mind?  
  
Mokuba: Uh.  
  
Seto: He likes All I Have by J. Lo feat. LL Cool J.  
  
Mokuba: Uh yeah, yeah!  
  
Nina: I can't do it alone. I'll duet with Seto!  
  
Seto: No singing for me!  
  
Nina: Tristan?  
  
Tristan: Nah!  
  
Nina: Bakura?  
  
Bakura: Do I look like I sing?  
  
Nina: Yami?  
  
Yami: Uh. I have tonsillitis! *cough* *cough*  
  
Nina: Which leaves to-  
  
Joey: I'm no singer!  
  
Nina: Well, we could just sing Tomorrow!  
  
Tea: Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love you tomorrow! You're always a day away!  
  
Mokuba: Aah! Make it stop!  
  
Nina: That didn't work.  
  
~Then they saw Mokuba turning back into human~  
  
Mokuba: I'm me again!  
  
Nina: Since you were so scared of the song, you didn't want to be a vampire so you turned human! Seto, which song does you hate most?  
  
Seto: That song from Blue's Clues. When they're done thinking.  
  
Nina: Oh you mean. We sat on down, figured it out, found what Blue's Clues was all about. Wow! You know what? We're really smart!  
  
Seto: I hate that song! Don't. I repeat! Don't. Ever. Sing that again!  
  
~Then Seto turns human~  
  
Nina: You're human! *attempts to hug Seto*  
  
Seto: *pushes her away* Don't hug me!  
  
Bakura: Nice to have you back!  
  
Yami: *thinks then gets an idea* Aha! *whispers to Nina*  
  
Nina: Okay! Silent night, holy night!  
  
Bakura: No! Not that song!  
  
Joey: Gee Bakura! I didn't know you hated "Silent Night, Holy Night!"  
  
~Then Bakura's fangs were gone~  
  
Bakura: Aww. MAN! *glares at everyone*  
  
Yami: Uh. Run?  
  
~So they were all chasing each other, actually Bakura's chasing them but what difference does it make? So they all lived (or died) happily (or sorrowly) ever after. ~  
  
Moral Lesson: Run as long you're alive!  
  
~Tune in next time in Psychotic Nights! And remember! Every adventure you read is good or bad luck! ~  
  
(A/N: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter! But don't worry! I'll try to make the others longer!)  
  
Bakura: My fangs!  
  
Seto: There! Here! Have Baby Dracula gummy teeth!  
  
Bakura: *takes it* Is this edible?  
  
Mokuba: Are you gonna eat it or not?  
  
Yami: Hey! No more chasing! I almost crashed to a vase! (p: Vays)  
  
Seto: You mean a vase? (p: Voz)  
  
Yami: Yeah whatever!  
  
Celestina: I'm back!  
  
Joey: Hey you jerk! You didn't help me carry her luggage back at the airport!  
  
Seto: We want you to suffer mutt. Besides, Yugi didn't help!  
  
Yugi: It was heavy!  
  
Yami: You can't blame my short hikari.  
  
Yugi: Aibou! You didn't come also!  
  
Yami: Quiet you! You want me to send you to the Shadow Realm!  
  
Bakura: No not there! Send him to Venus!  
  
Yugi: No! It stinks there!  
  
Bakura: My point exactly!  
  
Seto, Yami, Bakura: *carries Yugi and throws him to the Kaiba Corp rocket ship*  
  
Celestina: That was pretty mean.  
  
Seto: Hm. you're right! Let's just send him to the Bermuda Triangle!  
  
Bakura: Yeah!  
  
Yugi: *knocking glass* Lemme out! Lemme out! LEMME OUT!!!  
  
Yami: I feel sorry for him. Let's send him to China!  
  
Seto & Bakura: Works for us!  
  
~So the rocket flew to China~  
  
Yami: See you in a billion years!  
  
Seto: Be dead!  
  
Bakura: Bye Pharaoh's hikari! 


	11. Blue the Psycho Dog

~Psychotic Nights: Blue the Psycho Dog~  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own everyone in Yu-Gi-Oh! But if Blue owned it, it would be called Blue-Gi-Oh!  
  
Seto: Blue-Gi-Oh?  
  
Blue: RUFF! RUFF!!  
  
Yugi: Horror! Run!!!  
  
~The usual book entrance in Blue's Clues appears on the ground. The gang (Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Tea, Ryou, Malik & Isis) was walking by it. The usual, Joey, picks it up~  
  
Joey: *holding up book* Hey look guys! This book is kinda familiar.  
  
Yugi: Uh-oh! Joey be careful!  
  
Joey: *opens it*  
  
~Then a huge portal sucks them inside the book. They landed on soft green grass and they were in front of a huge house with a red roof~  
  
Tea: Where are we?  
  
Tristan: Probably JOEY knows!  
  
Joey: I didn't know what the heck was inside it!  
  
Ryou: Maybe we're in a whereabouts of a character that is famous but terribly feared.  
  
Yugi: The Telletubbies?  
  
Everyone: *hits him with a pillow*  
  
Yugi: What?! It's true!  
  
Isis: Wait! I think I'm sensing something!  
  
Malik: Red roofs! That is definitely not an evil place!  
  
Yugi: We could just ask the nice man with squares on his shirt!  
  
Tristan: Nice man with squares on his shirt?  
  
Isis: I saw it right!  
  
Tea: Which means?  
  
Joey: Uh.  
  
Malik: We just met-  
  
Joe: Hi friends!  
  
Everyone: Joe.  
  
Joe: Seems that you know my name already! I'm Joe! And you are?  
  
Joey: Somebody introduce us.  
  
Joe: What's your name?  
  
Joey: Ikes! I mean. I'm Joey Wheeler!  
  
Joe: Hi Joey! Mind if you introduce-  
  
Blue: RUFF! RUFF!!  
  
Joe: Oh hey Blue!  
  
Malik: This is it. The horror of all horrors!  
  
Joe: This is my brother's dog Blue! Blue this is Joey! He's about to introduce us to some of his friends!  
  
Joey: Uh. gladly! This electric Pikachu is Yugi Mutou!  
  
Yugi: Hi Joe! *laughs nervously* *to himself* Glad that's over.  
  
Joey: This girl in skirt is Tea Gardner!  
  
Tea: Hey Joe! *reaches hand out*  
  
Yugi: AAH! *grabs Tea's arm* You'll be affected!  
  
Joey: The guy with pointy brown hair is Tristan Taylor!  
  
Tristan: Wassup?  
  
Joey: The boy with a British accent is Ryou Bakura!  
  
Ryou: Howdy!  
  
Joey: The boy with a freakish maniac laugh is Malik Ishtar!  
  
Malik: Die mortal fool! *about to poke Joe with his Millenium Rod*  
  
Isis: No killing in front of a guest! *grabs Rod* I'll introduce myself! I'm Isis Ishtar.  
  
Joe: Oh and please! You're our guest! Come on in!  
  
Yugi: We're going inside their residence!  
  
Joe: Then we'll meet our friends!  
  
Yugi: Then we're going to meet their friends!  
  
Joe: Then maybe we can play Blue's Clues!  
  
Yugi: Then we'll play Blue's Clues!  
  
Everyone: *hits him with a pillow*  
  
Joey: Man you repeat what he says!  
  
Malik: I'm not even sure if he's even a he!  
  
Joe: ^_^  
  
Malik: Stop smiling!  
  
Joe: ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^  
  
Malik: No more smiling and let us enter to meet your mortally mortal friends!  
  
~Inside the house~  
  
Everyone: *staring blankly at the space they're in*  
  
Joe: Welcome! Blue was just here building blocks when you came in!  
  
Malik: Surprise?  
  
Blue: *finishes the building* RUFF! RUFF!! RUFF!!!  
  
Joe: Look! Blue just finished it!  
  
Everyone: Hoo-rah, yeah, yay, whatever.  
  
Yugi: *goes near to have a closer look and trips on it* Whoops! My bad!  
  
Joe: That's okay. Blue, do you still want to play with your building blocks?  
  
Blue: *shakes head*  
  
Joe: No? Then what do you want to play?  
  
Joey: We could just play Duel Monsters!  
  
Joe: Duel what?  
  
Joey: -_- Oh forget it!  
  
Blue: RUFF! *puts a paw print on the screen*  
  
Joe: Oh right! We could play *hand motion* Blue's Clues to figure out what Blue wants to do next! I love Blue's Clues!  
  
Malik: Yeah. And we don't care!  
  
Joe: We are going to play Blue's Clues, we are going to play Blue's Clues! We are going to play Blue's Clues! Coz it's a really great game! You know what we need! Our handy dandy.  
  
Kids: NOTEBOOK!!!  
  
Yugi: Kiddies! They're everywhere!  
  
Tristan: Phantom voices!  
  
Joe: Come on friends! Let's go to the Side table drawer!  
  
Isis: Side Table Drawer?  
  
Side Table Drawer: Hi Joe! Who're your friends? *eyes on Joey*  
  
Joey: Why's it staring at me?  
  
Joe: Oh that's Joey, Yugi, Tristan, Tea, Malik and Isis!  
  
Side Table Drawer: Hi! Hey, Joey!  
  
Joe: We're just going to get our-  
  
Side Table Drawer: *opens and shows notebook*  
  
Joe: Handy Dandy Notebook. Well, why do you know?  
  
Joey: Can we get outta here?  
  
Joe: To play Blue's Clues we gotta find a.  
  
Kids: A PAW PRINT!!!  
  
Joe: Right! And that's our first.  
  
Kids: CLUE!!!  
  
Joe: A clue?  
  
Kids: A CLUE!  
  
Joe: Then we put in our-  
  
Kids: NOTEBOOK!  
  
Joe: Coz the Blue's Clues, Blue's Clues! *dances*  
  
Tea: Do we have to follow him?  
  
Joe: We find another paw print! That's our 2nd clue! We put in our notebook coz the who's clues? Blue's Clues!  
  
Malik: Ra, that's scary!  
  
Joe: We find another paw print! That's our 3rd clue! We put it in our notebook coz the who's clues? Blue's Clues! You know what to do!  
  
Yugi: No we don't.  
  
Joe: We sit down on our thinking chair and think.  
  
Joey: Huh?  
  
Joe: Think.  
  
Tristan: Wha?  
  
Joe: Thiiink!  
  
Isis: Think?  
  
Joe: Coz if we use our minds and take a step out of time can do anything. *goes down*  
  
Blue: *jumps to the screen* BOW!  
  
Joe: *up* That we wanna do! *hand spread*  
  
Joey: Okay.  
  
Joe: Did you see where Blue went?  
  
Malik: He went that away! Stupid!  
  
Joe: Gee, thanks! *goes to the way Malik pointed*  
  
Isis: Let's follow him?  
  
Joey: Okay!  
  
Everyone: *follows Joe*  
  
Blue: *with Joe not knowing* *evilly grins*  
  
Joe: *gayilly walks* We are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues wonder where they are.  
  
Kid: A CLUE!! A CLUE!!  
  
Joe: The glue was spilled? *looks at glue* It's just fine!  
  
Joey: *looks at ice* Hey! The ice got contaminated!  
  
Kid: No! A clue!  
  
Joe: Oh you saw a clue? Where?  
  
Kid: Right there! Where Joey is!  
  
Joey: What did I do?  
  
Joe: Oh! That ice is a clue!  
  
Yugi: It is?  
  
Joe: Now we'll have to put it in our. *holds up notebook* notebook!  
  
Ryou: That's just great!  
  
Joe: *draws an ice cube on the notebook* And our first clue is. ice! *the picture above his head*  
  
Tristan: Where did that come from?  
  
Mr. Salt: Joe! Joe!  
  
Everyone: *hugs each other* AAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: It's so magnificent!  
  
Blue: RUFF!!  
  
Joey: I saw that dog grin! I SAW IT GRIN!!!  
  
Joe: Hey everyone! *holding Boris the duck*  
  
Malik: Ducky! *gets it and rips off its head* Oops. Oh well! Crap! *throws it away*  
  
Joe: No! BORIS!!! *flaming eyes* You'll die!!! *chases Malik*  
  
Tristan: That thing has a name? 


	12. Where the Clue is At

~Psychotic Nights: Where the Clue is at~  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or Blue's Clues. If I did own Yu-Gi-Oh! I would delete Seto from the show and hog him up for myself. And if I did own Blue's Clues, I would make Joe & Steve NOT gay or simply just shut it down!  
  
Ryou: That's just selfish!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: Why? Do you want Seto?  
  
Ryou: Do I look like a fan girl?  
  
Bakura: *waves a wand and dresses Ryou in a Sailormoon outfit*  
  
Ryou: Oh this is crap!  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: I enjoy it!  
  
~In the kitchen~  
  
Mr. Salt: Joe! You have friends!  
  
Malik: We're not friends! We're fiends!  
  
Joe: What's a fiend?  
  
Malik: You imbecile! You don't know fiend?! Listen you mothafu-  
  
Isis: Malik! No swearing!  
  
Malik: But dear big sister! He doesn't know fiend!  
  
Mrs. Pepper: All of them are not important. We need help!  
  
Paprika: Paprika hungry!  
  
Joe: Oh I see. Paprika's hungry!  
  
Yugi: Who's Paprika?  
  
Paprika: I am!  
  
Tristan: Spices?  
  
Mrs. Pepper: Our daughter-  
  
Joey: Daughter?  
  
Joe: I'm sorry! This is Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper and their daughter Paprika!  
  
Tea: Salt and pepper mixes to make paprika! What's next? Cinnamon?  
  
Mrs. Pepper: Oh Cinnamon!  
  
Paprika: Little brother!  
  
Tea: Then what? Parsley!?  
  
Mr. Salt: Probably.  
  
Yugi: How do you even reproduce? You get a new container?  
  
Joey: Mystery is. how do they even talk?  
  
Ryou: *sneaks and separates the group* *Millenium Ring glows*  
  
Yugi: Another one is. They're couples and they have totally different names!  
  
Bakura: The dog is somewhere. *sees a string* He'll never fool me. Or it was she, he, she, it. Oh whatever!  
  
Blue: RUFF!  
  
Bakura: EVIL GAY DOG!!! *chases Blue*  
  
Blue: RUFF!!! RUFF!!! RUFF!!!  
  
Bakura: Ha! I speak dog! You think I don't understand you? You just said. GASP! Psycho human homo?! AAAAAHHH!!!! I'M NOT THAT ONE!!! BLAME THE GAY HOST!!!  
  
Blue: Ruff, ruff, ruff.  
  
Bakura: So you act evil because you don't want to work with him anymore?  
  
Blue: Ruff!  
  
Bakura: Well lucky you! We can work together and control the show!  
  
Blue: Ruff!  
  
Blue & Bakura: *smirks and laughs evilly*  
  
Bakura: By the way. how'd you laugh?  
  
~Back at the counter in the kitchen~  
  
Joe: Who wants to feed her?  
  
Malik: Oh I'll feed her some sh-  
  
Joe: Shell? Isn't that too hard?  
  
Malik: Quiet you fu-  
  
Joe: Fur? I'm not that!  
  
Malik: Never mind!  
  
Joe: Let's count some fruits!  
  
Mrs. Pepper: There should be 1 banana, 2 mangoes, 2 oranges and 4 apples!  
  
Mr. Salt: We'll be back!  
  
Joe: Okay. Hey guys! We should help Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper!  
  
Malik: Why should we?  
  
Joe: They're our friends!  
  
Joey: Not OUR friends! They're YOURS!!!  
  
Joe: Don't be silly! We're all friends!  
  
Tea: I'd have to agree!  
  
Tristan: You agree with anything that has to do with good friendship!  
  
Joe: So Joey, why won't you help?  
  
Joey: Dude, seriously! Count 'em yourself!  
  
Joe: Well "dude" the person who helps will get cookies!  
  
Yugi: Ooh! I'm in!  
  
Everyone: *hits Yugi with a pillow* It's a trap!  
  
Yugi: Ow.  
  
Joe: Fine, I'll count them myself! But Mr. Salt makes good chocolate chip chewy choco cookies!  
  
Everyone: *drools*  
  
Joe: Then I'll get them because I am the only one who helped counting!  
  
Malik: Cookies are boring! Besides, I want MEAT!!! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!  
  
~Then a glass with a paw print rolls down~  
  
Joe: Whoops. Isis could you get that?  
  
Isis: *picks it up*  
  
Kids: A CLUE!!!  
  
Yugi: *jumps to Tea* AAAH!! Mordor speaks to us. Lord Sauron is approaching. he has come to take the ONE RING!!!  
  
Joey: Pull yourself together, Frodo Baggins!  
  
Joe: The kids said a spoon. Why would you want a spoon?  
  
Kid: No! A clue!  
  
Joe: Oh you saw a clue!? Where?  
  
Kid: Right there! With Isis!  
  
Isis: What?  
  
Joe: *looks at glass* Oh! There it is! You know what this means?  
  
Yugi: It's the end of the world?  
  
Joey: Seto will stop liking Serenity?  
  
Tea: Everyone will listen to my speeches?  
  
Tristan: People will treat me more than an extra?  
  
Malik: I will control the whole universe?  
  
Isis: The tablets will be stolen?  
  
Joe: No! We're going to need our handy dandy-  
  
Kids: NOTEBOOK!!!  
  
Joe: Notebook! Right!  
  
Yugi: Joe. Do you have something to do with Mordor? Those voices creep me.  
  
Joe: *draws a glass* And we have glass!  
  
~So after counting fruits~  
  
Voice: Mail time, mail time! MAIL TIME!!!  
  
Joe: The mail is coming! *does that mail dance* Here's the mail it never fails.  
  
Malik: What if it did?  
  
Joe: It makes me wanna wag my tail!  
  
Tristan: You don't have a tail.  
  
Joe: When it comes I wanna wail. MAIL!!!  
  
Yugi: Mail time! Oh goodie.  
  
Mailbox: Hiya Joe!  
  
Joe: Hey Mailbox!  
  
Joey: The mail talks!  
  
~After the blabbing of the mail.~  
  
Kids: Bye Joe!  
  
Joe: Bye! Wow.  
  
Yugi: It wasn't that "wow" ish.  
  
Blue: Bow ba bow Ruff!  
  
Bakura: Hello you people!  
  
Yugi: Bakura?  
  
Malik: Bakura!  
  
Bakura: Pharaoh and Malik!  
  
Blue: Bow! *skidoos in Yugi's deck*  
  
Yugi: Hey!  
  
Joe: Blue just skidoo into Yugi's deck! Let's go too! Come on!  
  
Joey: Uh. how?  
  
Joe: It's easy! *does that dance* Blue skidoo, we can too! *goes in Yugi's deck*  
  
Everyone: *follows Joe and skidoos in Yugi's deck*  
  
Joe: It's awfully dark in here.  
  
Malik: It's called the Shadow Realm, stupid!  
  
Joe: ^_^  
  
Malik: Stop that.  
  
Joe: ^_^^_^^_^  
  
Malik: DON'T SMILE AT ME LIKE A HOMO!!!  
  
Yugi: Dark Magician with Dark Magician Girl!  
  
Dark Magician: And I said it's not Black Magic it's Dark Magic! Who would name a move black?  
  
Dark Magician Girl: I don't know. Probably Konami?  
  
Yugi: Hey! Ack! Losing. ENERGY!!! *Millenium Puzzle glows and turns to Yami Yugi* Right on time.  
  
Joe: Hello!  
  
Yami Y: What the f-  
  
Joe: FUDGE!!!  
  
Yami Y: Huh?  
  
Malik: Long story.  
  
Joe: Let's move on!  
  
~Then they spot Gaia the Fierce Knight galloping across the field~  
  
Joey: It's Gaia!  
  
Gaia: Ha Ya!  
  
Yami Y: Look at him go!  
  
~ Summoned Skull then they spot. ~  
  
Yami Y: Summoned Skull!  
  
Summoned Skull: Who dares to awaken me?  
  
Yami Y: Hey Summoned Skull.  
  
Summoned Skull: Oh hey Yugi! *eyes widen* Yugi! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. It's just. Uh. I can pay for that.  
  
Yami Y: No need.  
  
Joe: Hey Summoned Skull! ^_^  
  
Summoned Skull: *whispers to Yami* Who is HE?  
  
Yami Y: *laughs nervously* New guy. Joe. Work with it.  
  
Joe: ^_^  
  
Ryou_Kaiba: That was fun!  
  
Joe: ^_^ WEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Joey: You just had to do that.  
  
Joe: ^__________________________________^ 


End file.
